


Barely Existing

by alwaysyouxoxo



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hermione Granger & Draco Malfoy Friendship, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Mental Health Issues, Possessive Draco Malfoy, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Battle of Hogwarts, Protective Draco Malfoy, Sad Draco Malfoy, Sad Hermione Granger, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Sirius Black Lives, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, i dont know how to write summaries please read, snape-ships-dramione
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:01:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 36,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27414670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwaysyouxoxo/pseuds/alwaysyouxoxo
Summary: He watched her struggle for a moment longer before impulsively taking a step towards her.Hermione suddenly felt the heat of a body from right behind her and an outstretched arm right next to hers."This one?" Draco whispered, his voice low and his fingers on the spine of a maroon colored book. Draco could feel her back brush against his chest and his brain and body immediately wanted to know what she would feel like pressed beneath him.____The Malfoys have switched sides and are spies for The Order but no one including the Golden Trio know. Draco Malfoy has had the most traumatizing summer, he's lost himself and having to pretend that he's still doing Voldemort's task and keeping up his Death Eater image takes a toll on him. Added to that, he's paired with Hermione Fucking Granger for Potions and somehow she makes him feel okay. She's golden. And that terrifies him. Will be come to terms with his attraction to Granger? Will she figure out that he switched sides? Will they save each other from themselves?
Relationships: Harry Potter & Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Lavender Brown/Ron Weasley, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy
Comments: 304
Kudos: 664





	1. Chapter 1

"You're broken." He muttered to himself as he stared at his reflection on the mirror in his room. He took in his pale skin and dark circles under his eyes. He pulled the sleeve of his cuffed shirt to cover the ugly tattoo that tainted his pale skin

Draco Malfoy had never expected to spend his summer this way. 

He thought back to when he had just gotten off the Hogwarts Express and was greeted by his mothers frail but gentle arms. He knew immediately that something was off. It was only when he got back to the Manor that Narcissa finally started to talk. The Dark Lord was back. 

And not only back, he would be moving into their Manor by the end of the summer. He knew what was coming, he knew he would be expected to take on the Dark Mark. 

Then Aunt Bella arrived. That woman scared the fuck out of him. She was insane, bitchy and overall psychotic.  
Lucius didn't say much for the first few weeks. Those weeks were the worst for Draco, those were the weeks when Draco finally realized that all the prejudices he had grown up hearing were complete and utter bullshit.  
He was forced to tag along with Bella and her other sick Death Eater friends as they tortured muggles by flinging them against buildings with a flick of their wand. 

He remembered the way he would flinch as he heard the cracking of their bones, the laughter from Aunt Bella and her 'friends'. 

Then came the Dark Lord. In his fucking home. Draco remembered the way his blood ran cold when his fingers traced his cheek and he informed him about his "task" and how if he didn't complete it, his family would die. 

But not even that was the last straw. 

The last straw was when he was forced by the Dark Lord to go with Bellatrix and the others on a fun little "trip".

He thought it meant more flinging of muggles, it made him sick but he had come up with coping mechanisms, he thought about things that made him happy. 

Goofing around with Theo and Blaise, his parents, pissing Snape off and curly hair were a few of them. Yeah he didn't know where the last one came from either. But it worked so he didn't dwell on it. 

But this, this was different. 

He watched Greyback snatch a woman off the street. He violated her. He raped her. He enjoyed her screams. Her cries. Her begging and pleading for her life. 

Draco remembered the way his ears started to ring, the way his heartbeat sped up, the way his eyes clenched shut. 

Fucking Bellatrix had come up to him and taunted him and forced him to watch. He remembered the way the Death Eaters laughed and enjoyed the woman's pain. 

Draco remembered getting back to the manor.

He doesn't remember walking into the bathroom. He does remember throwing up and his mother rubbing his back. 

And he doesn't want to remember the way he cried in her arms after. 

Because Draco was bad, he was mean, cold to most people and annoying and snarky. But he was not evil. 

That's when the three of them made a decision, they reached out to Snape who got them in touch with The Order. 

A decision was made, they were officially spies and The Order would protect them. 

All Draco had to do was keep up his pretences with The Dark Lord and the Death Eaters. 

He was to continue being an overall piece of shit at school, which wasn't hard because Draco knew, he was a piece of shit. But he also had to continue learning Occlumency from Snape to protect his mind from Vold-The Dark Lord. He had to keep pretending that he was trying to complete his task. 

The only people that knew were Theo and Blaise, both of whom had switched sides as well, Dumbledore, Lupin, Snape,Sirius and Tonks. 

His mother of course was over the moon to be back in touch with her sister. And Draco thought Tonks was cool, she tried her best to make him laugh, which was pretty hard after the summer he had but he appreciated the effort. 

Dumbledore thought it was best that Potter and his little trio didn't know yet and that was fine with Draco, he had zero interest in ever having that conversation with Potter. 

So this was Draco Malfoy's life. He was a fraud and a coward and most importantly, he was broken. 

Alive but barely existing.


	2. Chapter 2

Narcissa Malfoy tightened her grip on her husbands hand as they stood with Draco at the train station. She didn't care what anyone thought about them; how cold, snobby or whatever else. She knew the love their family had for each other. She wasn't just scared, she was beyond terrified. She watched her family home, the place where her only son had grown up, turn into a torture chamber. She knew they had their faults, their prejudices. But that didn't mean they were inhumane. Cowardly or not, she refused to ever let her family give in to the evil.

She didn't miss the sound of Draco crying himself to sleep when he thought no one could hear him, or the way Lucius's hands trembled as he sipped his morning coffee. Her two boys were her pillars of strength but she was their protector. 

Reaching out to The Order was the best decision their family had made in a long time and she stood by that fact.

"Make sure you eat enough, okay?" She said gently, cupping Draco's face as they stood on the platform of the station.

"I will Mother." He said rolling his eyes, trying to lighten her up.

He stopped in his tracks as their was a flurry of movement suddenly. A huge flash of red came towards them.

The Weasleys.

Now, Narcissa didn't share the same loathing Draco and Lucius seemed to have for them. But was she fond of them? No.

Draco sneered as the youngest Weasley boy, was it Rupert? Or Ronald? and Harry Potter walked past them. They scowled in return. Just as quickly as the sneer on Draco's appeared, it vanished. She followed her sons eyes and was met with brown ringlet curls belonging to Harry Potters muggle born best friend. 

Narcissa had spent the last five years hearing from Draco about how much the Granger girl had annoyed him. However, his face right now looked far from hatred.

She watched him study the girl almost curiously. How odd.

The Weasley family came to a stop about ten feet away from them and a babble of goodbyes began. Potter and his sidekick, both of whom were still sneering at her son, muttered something to the muggle born. She watched as the girl chastised the two of them and pulled them away from the sneering match that had begun. Granger turned and looked at Draco, she immediately snapped herself out of it and narrowed her almost golden brown eyes at him. Draco as well seemed to recover and sneered at her. As soon as she turned around though, his face dropped and he continue to study her.  
The whistle of the train shook him out of it and he turned back towards his parents.

That was.....curious. Narcissa didn't have time to dwell on it as the students had begun boarding the train.

"Be safe, my dragon." She said gently to her only son and he kissed her cheek in return.

"Take care son." Lucius said as gently as he could, his voice still gruff. Draco shook his hand and gripped it hard. 

So many words were left unspoken but understood as they didn't have the freedom to say it out loud because of the danger of someone hearing.

They watched him board the train and disappear amongst the flurry of students.

Please God let us live to continue watching him grow, Narcissa thought to herself.

************************************************************************************************************************************************

The train ride was absolutely horrendous for Draco. Pansy talked his ears off and seemed to never run out of things to say. Blaise and Theo had fallen asleep on each other but Draco couldn't bring himself to shut his eyes. Apparently one of the lasting effects you experience after living with a bunch of murderers is being scared to fall sleep and constantly being vary of your surroundings, who would have thought right? 

It wasn't Pansy's fault that she pissed him off, at this point everyone pissed him off. He didn't tell her to shut up though, he wanted to but instead settled for a few off his snarky comments. 

Getting through the feast seemed impossible. The smell of all the food around him made Draco sick, he picked at his dinner so that it wouldn't draw attention to him and then settled on observing everyone around him whilst Theo argued with Pansy about some stupid Celebrity Wizard that Draco couldn't be less bothered with. 

He glanced over at the Gryffindor Table and found Potter glaring at him while Weasley scarfed down his food. Saint Potter turned to his side and whispered something furiously to Granger. 

She looked confusedly at Potter and then he nudged his head towards the Slytherin Table. Towards Draco. 

Draco's eyes met hers and she glanced back at her friend and seemed to tell him to "knock it off."

Surprisingly she looked up back at him and Draco found himself staring at her for the second time today. 

He didn't mean to stare but somehow he couldn't pull himself away. Her cheeks tinged pink after a few moments and she was the first to look away when Potter said something again. 

She looked visibly annoyed and seemed to tell him off yet again. He knew Potter was suspicious of him, if only he knew that they were literally working on the same side.

Draco looked down at his food just in time as Pansy had started to address him now. 

"Why are you acting so strange?" She asked, cocking one eyebrow up.  
"I'm not." Draco replied rolling his eyes. 

"Don't you roll your eyes at me." She exclaimed.  
Draco turned his full body towards her, gripped her shoulder and proceeded to roll his eyes dramatically. 

She huffed and smacked the back of his head. Theo began to guffaw. 

Even Malfoy smirked. It felt almost normal. Plus he couldn't have Pansy starting to get suspicious. Although she wasn't a hardcore Death Eater supporter, her parents certainly were and Draco couldn't risk it. 

At least he had Theo and Blaise but even then, it's not like he would have heart to hearts with them. They wouldn't understand. 

Fuck, Draco didn't even understand what was going on with him. He didn't get why he felt so empty inside. 

Stop it, he thought to himself. There are bigger issues at stake, he told himself and rubbed his eyes trying to get the tiredness out of him. 

******************************************

Hermione rubbed her forehead as she listened to Harry complain about Malfoy. 

Yet again. 

"Come on Hermione, you can't deny that Malfoy is acting really odd. Plus did you see how suspicious his parents were acting at the station."

Hermione thought back, what was weird was the number of times she found herself looking at him. 

No why was he looking at her like that, it made her nervous, not uncomfortable it just made her heartbeat speed up. You sound stupid, she thought to herself. 

He did look considerably different. Obviously he had grown and matured but she put that part away, can't find herself thinking Malfoy was attractive . No that was just asking for trouble. 

But his eyes, it seemed almost empty. He looked pale and she noticed he was picking at his food, only eating a small portion of it. 

Had something happened? 

Oh for Merlin's sake Hermione, you sound obsessed like Harry, she thought to herself.

Harry had started to tell Ron now about how he was so sure Malfoy was a Death Eater. Even Ron seemed taken aback. 

"Mate, he's literally sixteen years old, I really don't think Voldemort wants a child on his army, he isn't even of age yet." Ron said in between his chomping. 

"We don't know how Voldemort works, what if he's using Draco as an insider in Hogwarts?"

"Harry, " Hermione said groaning, "Just because Malfoy is a complete prat and a bully it doesn't mean he's signed up to be an evil murderer."

"You'll see." Harry replied looking awfully determined. Great, Hermione thought, now he's going to harass Malfoy for the rest of the year . 

She refused to believe Malfoy was a death-eater. Maybe it's your stupid brain trying to look for the good in people, her subconscious told her. No, she thought to herself. He's not a death eater, she was confident of that fact. 

The conversation thankfully ended there, Ron and Harry began to talk about quidditch and Hermione just listened because she really didn't have much to add. 

Dean Thomas at some point began to complain about how NEWT level classes were going to be the death of him.  
Ron chuckled, "I don't know why you're so worried, we have Hermione. She'll be a darling and do our work for us."

The boys chuckled and Ginny looked at her sympathetically and mouthed to her, "He's an idiot." Hermione cracked a small smile at her. 

She knew Ron and Harry loved her but it did make her feel like crap when they talked about her like she was their assistant who was only around to do their work. 

She loved them. She really did. But they didn't listen to her when she talked about her interests but rather only payed attention to her when they needed to dump their work on her. 

Hermione hated giving in but the small voice in her head that was still the eleven year old girl who had no friends, forced her to be the people pleaser everyone loved and wanted because that eleven year old girl was terrified of having no one. And sixteen year old Hermione was just as anxious of that thought. 

Be a doormat, it told her, or they'll have no use for you and they'll leave you. 

She shook her head of these thoughts. They love you, she thought to herself. They might take advantage of you a little bit but they do love you. 

Stop being selfish Hermione, she said to herself. Friends help each other out, there's nothing more to it. 

It wasn't their fault though, Hermione knew she had unresolved trauma from the bullying she faced in the muggle world for being 'different' and the fear she faced in the wizarding world that she wasn't good enough and she may never be, but she knew it only made her work harder. 

So what if she sometimes felt under-appreciated, you have friends Hermione, that's more than you deserve. 

Be happy with that .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I hope you like this chapter. This fic is more of a slow burn but I promise its worth it.  
> Ron and Harry aren't assholes in this fic but they're a little absent-minded and mistreat Hermione unknowingly.  
> Hermione has a lot of past scars from people treating her badly and it starts to show (Maybe Draco shows her that she's worth it at some point??? *wink wink*)  
> Anyway, please please leave a kudos and a comment on your thought on this chapter. I really really appreciate (it makes my day).  
> Stay safe, all the love xx


	3. Chapter 3

Hermione and Ginny sat in their dorm room. "Harry is being ridiculous." Hermione muttered as she threw herself back onto her bed.  
"I have to agree." Ginny said rolling her eyes. 

"How's it going with Dean?" Hermione asked, changing topics. She looked at Ginny curiously. Her and Dean were one couple she never saw coming, Hermione was so happy for her but with Ginny's crush on Harry, she just never expected it. 

Ginny just shrugged, "It's going." She muttered.  
"What's wrong?" Hermione asked sitting up. Ginny just shrugged again, "I don't know. Sometimes it just feels so forced? I don't know how else to put it."

"Is that bad?" She asked. 

Hermione immediately consoled her, "No no absolutely not. You can't help how you feel Gin. Just promise me you'll do what you want and what makes you happy."

"I will Mione." Ginny replied smiling and leaned her head onto Hermione' shoulder. The two girls unexpectedly had gotten close out of nowhere, it had started when the boys unknowingly treated Hermione badly during the summer when she would stay at the Burrow, Ginny would stand up for her and spend time with her and somehow even with the whole being in different years thing, they became best friends. 

She was grateful for Ginny. 

"What about you? I heard Ron might finally pluck up the courage this year." Ginny said, although she didn't look very into the idea. Hermione wrinkled her nose and Ginny laughed. 

"What?" Hermione huffed. 

"Don't get me wrong, I love Ronald. But you deserve so much better." Ginny said sobering up. 

Hermione just shrugged. "The boys are stupid, Hermione. You're worth way more than that." Ginny said matter-of-fact. 

Hermione bit her lip, she didn't agree. She was lucky enough to even have people who were willing to be around her. But she just nodded at Ginny and the two them continued to talk about being back at Hogwarts and what they thought the year would bring their way. 

******************************************

Draco sat in the empty Potions classroom. Sleep wasn't a luxury he enjoyed anymore. With sleep came nightmares and Draco would anyday choose to be exhausted rather than terrified. 

Potter was following him around like a lost puppy and Draco wanted to just grab him and scream that they were literally fighting for the same side.  
Moreover him following Draco around was most inefficient because he was supposed to act normal and running away every evening to Snape's dungeon to practise occulemency was proving to be difficult with Potter always watching him. 

A few Slytherin's had started entering the class and looked at Draco curiously sitting by himself, he ignored them. Pansy, Theo and Blaise walked in, "Mate why'd you leave so early?" Asked Theo sliding into the seat next to him. 

"Couldn't sleep." Draco answered shortly. Pansy shrugged and took the table in front of them along with Blaise but the boys looked at him in concern.  
He ignored it. 

A few Gryffindors had started to come in and lo-behold came the Golden Trio. The Weasel was still stuffing his face with snacks and Potter was as per usual looking at Draco. 

Granger walked a little behind them. She had always been pretty, even though Draco would never admit it out loud because his father would've literally ended him. But she had obviously matured recently. 

Stop, he told himself. Don't be that stupid. He looked away and studied the table in front of him. 

Snape walked in, his black robes flowing behind him and a permanent scowl painted on his face.

He went straight to the point, "You're all in sixth year now, there will be no fooling around, no stupid questions and there is absolutely no room for incompetence." He narrowed his eyes threateningly at Longbottom for the last part. 

"And finally, I will be choosing your seating arrangements and partners." Small groans were let out by a few students but they shut up immediately when Snape glared at them, "My decisions are final and there will be no changes. For anyone. And that goes for you too Potter, in my class your celebrity status is not valid." Potter flushed and the Slytherins snickered. 

Even Draco smirked, he had to admit, his godfather had a way with words. 

"Mr Weasley next to Mr Thomas." Ron shrugged and moved next to him.  
"Parkinson go with Potter." Snape said. Draco swore he heard a hint of amusement in his voice.  
Pansy muttered something under her breath whereas Potter started to protest but was immediately shut up by Snape's threatening glance.  
"Longbottom go with Malfoy."  
Sorry what? Malfoy just glared at his godfather in detest.  
He heard Granger mutter something. 

"Miss Granger, did you have something to say?" Snape's voice asked grimly. 

Draco slightly turned his neck slightly, Granger stood against the wall.  
"I-uh I- " She stuttered. 

"You what?" Snape asked threateningly.

She glanced at Neville who was basically shaking like a leaf. 

Okay that's a bit dramatic, Draco thought and rolled his eyes. He may have not been the nicest to Longbottom but he wasn't going to kill him. 

She swallowed, "I said that it wasn't fair. It's like you want Neville to not succeed." She said bravely. 

Oh, even Draco had to admit , she had guts, he'd always admired but also hated that about her. 

"Well Miss Granger since you seem to be so concerned with Longbottom's success or failures, you go with Mr Malfoy. Longbottom you're with Miss Patil."

Draco's eyes widened, was Snape trying to piss him off? Potter began protesting and the Weasel looked ready to pass out. 

Hermione's eyes met Draco's whereas his eyes unknowingly scanned her, up and down. 

Stop it, he told himself. 

"Miss Granger, I will not repeat myself." Snape said grimly. 

Hermione reassuringly patted Harry on his back, "It's fine Harry."

She grabbed her stuff and made her way over to Draco. She silently slid into the seat next to him, keeping as much distance as possible. 

"Today you'll be brewing the potion, The Draught of the Living Death, can any of you tell me what it is used for?"

Draco found himself surprised that Granger wasn't shooting out of her seat to answer. But truth be told Hermione wasn't in the mood to call any more attention to herself. She was sitting right in the middle of three Slytherins, she really didn't need nor want to be belittled anymore than usual. She already had Ron to do that. 

His Godfather seemed surprised too, "Miss Granger, I am in awe over how you're not squeaking away the answer, why don't you grace us with your intelligence." He continued mockingly.  
Draco watched her fingers tremble a bit but he also noticed how she took in a breath as if to steady herself before saying, "The Draught of Living Death brings upon its drinker a very powerful sleep that can last indefinitely. It is very dangerous if not used with caution." She said confidently. 

The confidence seems like a facade. How intriguing , Draco mused. He didn't know when he became so observant, it was probably because he was forced to live with a bunch of mass murders and he had to be constantly aware of his surroundings. Or maybe it wasn't. Who knows? 

Snape hmmed, "Five Points from Gryffindor for talking back earlier for Longbottom." 

A flurry of protests were heard but was immediately silenced with a swish of Snape's wand. 

"SILENCE. Now open your textbooks and read. You will be making this potion in our next class." He said grimly. 

The sounds of turning pages filled the classroom. Draco glanced sideways and saw Granger engrossed at the page in front of her. 

All his life he'd been told "Mudbloods" were filthy. Dirty to their very core. And that they were 'useless creatures'. 

Granger was the one who proved him wrong since day one at Hogwarts. She was intelligent, witty and Draco had to admit, pure. He hated her for it. He hated that she proved him and all the ideals that were force-fed to him, wrong. 

Her long lashes fluttered against her smooth skin as her golden brown eyes scanned the page in front of her. It flickered towards him and Draco immediately looked back at his own textbook. His ears tinged pink. 

What are you doing, he screamed at himself inwardly. 

Okay so Granger is pretty, big deal, he told himself. 

Well more like gorgeous but sure, a voice inside his head replied.  
Shut the fuck up, he inwardly cursed. 

The ticking of the clock couldn't go any faster. He needed to get out of here. This was all too much, too awkward, too quiet and too much Granger. 

The sound of the clock was joined with the tapping of fingers against the wood of the table. 

He glanced to the side and saw Grangers fingers relentlessly tapping her fingers. 

He waited two minutes and when it didn't cease , he muttered, "Stop that."

"What?" She asked softly. She looked up at him confusion in her eyes. Her eyes; why were they so kind? 

Kind? You sound like a prick, he told himself. 

"Your fingers," He stated trying to sound annoyed. No not trying, it was annoying. 

"Stop tapping them, it's annoying."  
He wasn't asking, he was telling her. 

"I'm sorry is it annoying? Oh no let me stop and just listen to your every whim and fancy."  
She muttered, annoyed at his tone. 

She continued to unconsciously tap her fingers. 

"Granger, stop that." He said angrily. 

"Are you serious? It isn't bothering anyone else!" She replied sounding annoyed. 

"Miss Granger is there something you would like to share with the class?" Snape's voice cut them both off. 

"No professor." She muttered looking down. 

"Now unless you would like to lose more points for your house, get back to reading." He said grimly. 

Thankfully the bell rang about five minutes after that and Hermione grabbed her bag and walked away to join Potter and Weasley but not before leaving Malfoy with a glare. 

"What was that about?" Blaise asked turning sideways from his desk. 

"Just Granger being annoying as fuck." Draco said shortly.

Theo and Blaise looked at each other and shrugged. 

"She's fit though." Theo said with a smirk. "I agree" Blaise replied with a wink. 

Draco grabbed his bag, he did not want to get into a conversation about how fit Granger is. He really did not need that to deal with as well. 

"We have charms next." Draco muttered and got up. Theo, Blaise and Pansy followed behind him and Pansy started to bitch about how unlucky she was to be stuck with Potter.

Yeah right, try being stuck with Granger and her annoying tapping and her stupid brown eyes, Draco thought to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter.  
> This will be my last update for a while (a week tops) because I have exams soon that I have to prepare for.  
> Writing is my escape, I've been going through a really rough time recently and this had helped so much.  
> I would really appreciate it if you guys left a kudos and a comment telling me your thoughts.  
> Stay safe and take care,  
> All my love xx


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer - You might think Hermione is being overly sensitive in this chapter but keep in mind, she's extremely insecure and damaged in a way. Keep in mind, she doesn't have the most positive mindset about herself and it's clear in this chapter.  
> Anyway enjoy!

"I'm telling you Hermione, he was on the fifth floor and he just disappeared!" Harry exclaimed. 

Hermione fought the urge to tell that it was just his weak eyesight. She focused on buttering her bread. 

She was exhausted. She had to stay up working on her essay and since Ron was practicing to get on the Quidditch team, he nonchalantly dumped his essay on her. Doing it wasn't an issue for her, it just would've been nice if he asked first.

Speaking of the devil, Ron walked in with a huge smile, "Morning everyone. I'd say I'm feeling pretty good about yesterday's practise Harry!" He exclaimed happily. 

"You were great mate." Harry praised, "Really, Hermione you should've seen him out there." 

Hermione forced a smile, "That's great Ron."

"Oh by the way, did you finish my essay?" Ron asked as he sat opposite to Hermione. 

Hermione nodded and took out his essay from her bag, "Here you go." She said softly. 

"Gee Hermione, I always know I can count on you for homework." Ron said with a jolly smile. He took her neatly presented essay and stuffed it in his bag. He then dug into his breakfast whilst talking to Harry. 

The table started to fill with excited voices talking and swapping of stories from yesterday's Quidditch practise. But Ginny turned red with anger and Hermione seeing this placed her hand on her arm, "Don't, its fine." She said quietly. 

"No! He's a complete arse. You worked on that essay all night," Ginny exclaimed.  
"And all he can say is 'Gee Hermione'. What an idiot!" Ginny said smacking her forehead with her hand. "I promise not all of us Weasley's are that idiotic." 

Hermione let out a small laugh. "No Gin you're definitely not. Plus, he won't have a clue what you're talking about anyway. Its fine."

Ron's voice interrupted them, "Hermione, move would you; to make space for Seamus." He said pointing towards the end of the table.

Hermione swallowed. He just wanted her to move over and sit by herself. Its not a big deal, she told herself.

"Excuse us." Ginny angrily exclaimed as Hermione started to shift herself. She took Hermione's wrist and dragged her out of the Hall. Hermione felt the grip on her wrist, it wasn't rough but firm. 

Her questioning exclaims were left unanswered. Ginny didn't stop walking furiously not caring even when they bumped into people. Hermione called out apologies for them and allowed herself to be helplessly dragged until they reached the Prefects bathroom. 

Ginny came to an abrupt stop. 

"Ginny, what the hell was that about?" Hermione asked, trying to catch her breath. 

"Come with me." Ginny said shortly and they entered the bathroom.  
It was lit with golden light. A white porcelain bath tub stood in the corner and there was a marble sink with a mirror diagonal to it. 

Ginny shut the door and locked it. "Ginny, I have potions, do you mind telling me what this is about, " Hermione asked as she looked out the one-way window. 

She turned around and saw a full length mirror behind the door that was now shut. 

"Stand with me." Ginny instructed, her voice low. Oh no, Hermione thought her heart sinking. She understood now. 

"Gin I-" 

"Hermione stand with me." Ginny whispered, her voice thick with emotion. 

Hermione took a step forward and stood side by side with Ginny, her eyes trained on the floor.  
"Look up." Ginny said, still whispering. 

Hermione forced herself to look up at their reflection. 

"Do you know what I see?" Ginny asked.  
Hermione shook her head, her fingers nervously digging into the hem of her skirt that reached the middle of her thigh. 

"I see a girl who has the most beautiful features, a body any girl would die for and-"

Hermione cut her off, "Gin you don-"

"Stop," Ginny said, putting her hand up.  
"Let me finish. And most importantly, she has the kindest heart and is the bravest person I know." She said, her voice croaky. 

"And-and I-I'm tired of letting her be so self-loathsome of herself. I'm done letting people get away with mistreating her because she doesn't deserve a smidge of it." Ginny finished. 

Hermione's eyes trailed to the floor .  
"Can you repeat what I just said or even just believe it?" Ginny asked quietly. 

Hermione didn't respond. Her eyes still focused on the floor. "Hermione?"

She just shook her head, "Mione? "  
She shook furiously in response. Tears started to run down her cheeks, she couldn't look up. She couldn't open her mouth. She just couldn't. She tried but the words couldn't come out. It was like her mind deceived her mouth. She couldn't. 

"I-I-I can't," Hermione said her voice cracking. "I'm sorry, I can't. I-I don't know. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Hermione choked out and the sobs started to leave her body. 

Her quiet cries filled the empty bathroom.

"Mione," Ginny said in concern and sadness, "Come here."

Ginny held her as the sobs wracked Hermione's body. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I don't, I don't-" She said trying to catch her breath. 

"Shhh, it's okay. I'm so sorry, I was just trying to get you to see what I see. I pushed too hard, I'm so sorry." Ginny whispered as her own tears began to pour out. 

_____________

Hermione made her way to Potions class, trying to calm her breathing down.  
She had cast a simply Scourgify to clean up her mess of a face and she hoped the redness of her eyes wasn't noticeable. 

She knew Ginny's intentions were nothing but pure. Ginny was very protective of the people she loved and Hermione was like the sister she never had. 

If only I wasn't so pathetic and sensitive, Hermione thought. She made her way inside the class just as the bell rang.  
The boys didn't bother to ask her why she was almost late or where she had gone, but she didn't expect any less.  
No expectations lessens the disappointment, that's what she tried to tell herself to live by. 

She took her seat next to Malfoy and she made sure to not look him or anyone else in the eye. 

I just need to keep my head down and get through this day, she thought to herself.  
Professor Snape walked in and started to tell them to get to work on their potions. 

Shit, she inwardly cursed. There's no avoiding communicating with Malfoy today.

She didn't care how messed up she felt, school was her priority.

Now Draco was in one of his moods. He was cranky, his lack of sleep was getting to him. His nightmares exhausted him even more. He was in the mood to piss someone off. Maybe it was his inner-brat showing from growing up in such a lavish household, but he liked pissing people off when he was unhappy. He felt out of control in every other aspect of his life. This however, made him feel just a little bit more grounded.

"Granger, I am not your precious Potty, I do not have the patience for you. Please do let me know when you're ready to get off your arse and up to work." Malfoy drawled out mockingly.

The classroom was already a buzz with people bustling about to get their ingredients from the cupboard.

Hermione didn't even spare him a glance and waved her hand towards the cupboard. She wasn't even on her arse, she had already started working. 

"Grab the Infusion of Wormwood, we've already been provided with the Root of Asphodel, I'll start working on powdering it." She muttered as she began to concentrate on her task.

"Excuse me, I am not Weasel. You cannot just order me around." Malfoy replied angrily. This was childish, he knew that but he needed a reaction. Anything, just something.

Hermione didn't respond.

"Get it yourself." He muttered agitated.

Still nothing.

Hermione glanced at the cupboard, Harry stood there with Ron and was very clearly complaining about Pansy being his partner. She couldn't bring herself to go towards them right now. She felt like she couldn't keep her emotions in check around the two of them right now. 

"Granger, are you deaf?" Malfoy asked harshly. And slammed his hand on the counter top. It wasn't malicious just downright frustration. The rest of the class remained oblivious but Blaise and Theo turned around cautiously. 

They exchanged glances. Hermione took in a breath, she didn't have the energy to argue with him today.  
She finally looked at him, not pleadingly but with a look of pure exhaustion. 

Draco was taken a back, her eyes were rimmed red. He swallowed and his heart uncomfortably softened, he hated it. "Never mind, I'll just do it myself." He said finding his voice and trying his best to sound harsh. 

He got up and made his way to the cupboard full of ingredients. No doubt Potter and Weasley were behind this. Those two were complete idiots, everyone knew they would be dead if it wasn't for Granger, yet they didn't seem to acknowledge the fact that they were stupid, mindless fools, Draco thought to himself.

The two said idiots stood in front of the cupboard, there was optimum space to go around them but Draco shouldered Weasley, grabbed what he needed and then pushed past him again, ignoring Weasel's shouts of anger. Fucking idiots, he thought. 

Theo and Blaise looked at each other in both awe and confusion. They've both known Draco since he was a child and he was the definition of stubborn. He never once backed down from a fight or an argument. So this in simple terms, was shocking. 

"I'm sorry, did Drake just back off and listen to Granger?" Theo muttered to Blaise. 

"I'm just as fucking surprised as you." Blaise whispered back. 

Draco got back to Granger's and his counter and laid down their ingredients.  
For once, he didn't pick a fight. They both quietly skimmed through the instructions. 

Without so much as a word between them, they got to work. Hermione was surprised at how smoothly they worked together. Keeping aside the fact that they couldn't stand each other, they made a great team. 

With Ron, it was always her doing the work and with Harry, he did his best to help out but again it would end up with Hermione doing most of it. But Draco did his part without being told. Hermione wasnt exactly surprised at that, he was one of the top students in their year. 

They finished quietly and when Snape came to examine their potion, even he looked taken aback at the sight of them not ripping each others limbs off. He grunted that their potion was adequate at the least. 

However, most of the class had struggled with theirs and Snape hissed at them that they would have to redo it next class until they got it perfect. 

Thankfully the bell rang and Hermione grabbed her textbook and put it in her bag. She locked eyes with Malfoy. 

Draco felt like he couldn't catch his breath, around her. It was fucking weird. She looked away first, her cheeks flushed a light shade of pink and she hurriedly walked out the classroom. 

"Mate, what the fuck was that about?" Theo asked, his eyes wide. 

"What?" Draco asked, trying to keep his voice even. 

"Y-you-you just backed off from a fight with GRANGER. And then just listened to her?" He exclaimed. 

"Potter and Weasel had a fight with her or something. I wasn't really in the mood to make her cry and deal with that and her prissy Gryffindor gang." Draco said, hoping to God he sounded disgusted. 

Blaise hid a smirk, Draco was never really a good liar. 

Malfoy grabbed his bag, "I have Divination." He said shortly and walked off. 

Theo and Blaise watched his retreating figure, "How is it that the most emotion he's shown in weeks was towards Hermione fucking Granger?" Theo asked Blaise. 

"Your guess is as good as mine," Blaise said quietly, deep in thought, "Interesting.... very interesting." He thought out loud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!!!  
> I'm not done with exams but I couldn't stay away. I hope you guys are well and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please let me know what you though by commenting and leave a Kudos if you liked it!! I would really appreciate it. Take care and remember you're loved, appreciated and precious to this world xx


	5. Chapter 5

Draco sat back on the armchair in the Slytherin common room and Theo and Blaise played cards on the sofa opposite to him. He tried to stay awake but his eyes unconsciously fluttered shut. It wouldn't hurt to get some rest, thought Draco to himself. 

However his ears perked up and his eyes immediately opened up when he heard Granger's name being mentioned. "She's got to be one of the most fittest girls in our year," quipped Theo casually.  
Blaise whistled in response, "Doesn't she have something going on with Weasley though?" 

Draco snorted. Both the boys turned around and looked at him questioningly.  
"What?" Theo asked. Fuck, Draco thought, I didn't actually mean for them to hear me.  
But outwardly, he just shrugged. "Just that Granger could never settle down with someone as daft as Weasley."  
Theo and Blaise smirked. 

"So what you're saying Drake, is that Granger deserves better?"  
Draco's mouth fell open, "Wha-What?"  
"No! I'm just saying that she could never-like she could-just that she could nev-" Draco stuttered. 

"Spit it out Draco." Theo said clapping his hands. He was loving this. 

"Fuck off." Draco muttered annoyed. 

Blaise chuckled and patted his back, "We're just riling you up Draco."

"Speak for yourself," Theo said gleefully. 

"So do you think Granger's pretty?" He asked. 

Draco didn't think "pretty" did Granger justice. She was stunning. She was magical through and through. Draco would NEVER admit that out loud or to himself for that matter. 

He just shrugged and tried to busy himself with trying to find a comfortable position on the armchair. Blaise and Theo looked at each other in wonder, "Why are your ears red?" Blaise asked his voice low but amused. 

"I hate you both." Draco said, flipping the two of them off. 

"Why can't you just answer the question?" Theo exclaimed. 

"She's muggleborn." Draco said quietly. 

Blaise looked at him curiously and spoke quietly even though no one else was in the common room, "I think we've established this summer that blood status really doesn't fucking matter to you so don't use that as an excuse."

Draco looked at Blaise intensely. "That's. not. what. I. fucking. meant."

"Then what did you mean?" Theo asked. The tension was high but this was the most emotion they've gotten out of him in a while, they weren't going to just let it go.

"I just meant... I don't know what I meant, okay? Now fuck off." Draco spat and stormed off to his room. 

Theo got up but Blaise pushed him down, "Let him calm down, we both know that no good comes out of confronting him."

Theo nodded and sat back down. 

"Weird ain't it?" He said.  
"What is?" Blaise asked.  
"Draco. I've never seen him so defensive."

"Nor have I," Blaise muttered, "Its almost like he has a soft spot for her."

Theo looked at him wonderingly. "You think so?"

Blaise nodded, deep in thought. 

Draco meanwhile stormed off to his dorm and slammed the door. Thankfully he was the only one in the room.  
He felt his breathing speed up erratically. Fuck, not again, Draco thought. He sat against the wall and tried his best to calm down his breathing. He hated this, he hated feeling like this. He hated how defensive he felt when Theo brought up Granger. He hated it. He hated not living but just existing. 

_______________________________________

Draco walked into Potions class determined to not be anything but Malfoy-y towards Granger. Theo and Blaise really pissed him off last night and they have a double period today for Potions. I really have to watch myself, he thought.

He took his place and a couple of minutes later Granger walked into class along with Potter and Weasley. 

Hermione was not in the best mood either. She woke up late and was already irritable enough. Two and a half hours with Malfoy was just the cherry on top. 

The first couple of minutes of class went fine. Until Draco and Hermione got into an argument about who messed up the first sample potion. 

"Why do you have to be so infuriating?" Hermione exclaimed. Everyone in class was unaware to what was happening and was doing their own thing.  
However, Theo and Blaise were very much amused and taken in by the scene in front of them. 

"Me? I'm being infuriating? You're the one who's refusing to fucking listen to me." Draco hollered back. 

"I don't have to listen to you, you prick!" Hermione muttered back angrily. 

"Fuck it, I'm just doing it myself." Draco said storming off. 

Hermione pressed her fingers to her forehead. What an arsehole! 

Theo almost immediately turned around with a big smile, "I don't think we've met before, I'm Theo, Theo Nott." He said, his voice friendly.  
Hermione looked at him warily and in surprise but his eyes looked ernest. 

"Uh-yeah I know, I mean I-" She paused and then smiled, "I'm Hermione." Theo grinned in response.  
A moment later, Blaise smiled politely, "I'm Blaise." Hermione nodded politely with a small smile. 

What the fuck is going on, Hermione thought to herself. Why were two Slytherins being nice to her? It was nice but she couldn't help being wary. And as confident as she liked to portray herself, Hermione was actually pretty shy around people she didn't know. 

The three of them stood in silence and Draco's return broke it, "Here." He muttered angrily. He paused and then noticed the three of them standing together, "What's going on?" He asked confused. 

Theo's grin didn't falter, "We were just introducing ourselves to Hermione here." Hermione's eyes widened a bit, she didn't actually expect them to call her by her first name.

Draco's mind was turning, what the fuck were these two up to. 

Granger turned back her attention towards him, "You forgot the Valerian root." She said shortly as she scanned their desk. 

"Well then you should've gotten it yourself!" Draco threw his hands up in exasperation. 

"Well YOU didn't give me the chance to." She said stressing on the fact that he has zero patience. 

Draco's mouth fell open, "EXCUSE ME, you're the one who refused to because I was apparently 'ordering you around'. "  
Hermione scoffed. Draco scoffed back. 

Theo and Blaise watched the exchange amused but still a bit terrified that the two might start throwing hexes at each other any second. 

"Prick." Hermione muttered.  
"Bossy know-it-all." Draco muttered back. 

The two proceeded to ignore each other and work on their potion.  
Theo and Blaise continued with their work as well. The show was unfortunately over. 

"Theo, for God's sake, powdered doesn't mean you take your fist and start smashing it up." Blaise said, holding the bridge of his nose in annoyance. 

"How do you know that?" Theo quipped back, "Hermione, you're on my side right?" He asked with a grin. 

Draco paused his actions to wait for her reply. Hermione looked up, shocked that they were actually conversing with her. She, however smiled after a moment. "Uh I'm pretty sure Blaise is right this time." Amusement laced in her voice. 

Theo reminded Hermione of her little ten year old cousin with his presumably wild yet amusing ways. 

"Told you," Blaise said in his low voice. "I'm always right."

"Is that so?" Theo said, his hands on his hips. Now he just reminded Hermione of Molly Weasley. 

Theo swished his hair to the side and deepened his voice,"Oh look at me, I'm Blaise and I'm mysterious and I have a deep voice and oh, I'm always right." Theo said in his best 'Blaise voice'. 

Hermione giggled and then immediately covered her mouth with her dainty fingers. 

Draco paused as he watched her giggle, Fuck, that was adorable, he thought and immediately hated himself for thinking it. He unconsciously bit his lip as he looked her over and he hoped to God that it wasn't obvious he was fonding over Hermione fucking Granger. But from the curious look on Blaise's face, Draco wasn't very good at hiding it. 

Theo grinned at Hermione, "She thinks I'm funny." He said as excited as a child in a candy store. 

"No one ever thinks I'm funny. She's officially my favourite." Theo declared and pretended to wipe away a tear.  
Hermione stifled a giggle at his antics. 

It feels good to laugh and not be constantly worrying about whether people were annoyed at you or not, thought Hermione to herself. 

She loved her two boys but every day got worse. They didn't even have to do anything, her self image just worsened by the day. 

Draco on the other hand had to remind himself to breathe. You cannot go around thinking Granger's giggles are cute, you have a mission, a very important mission which just might save the fucking wizarding world from a psychopath, you're pathetic enough as it is, stay on track, his brain screamed at him. 

As the class ended Hermione waved goodbye to Theo and Blaise. She and Malfoy looked at each other and then he all but stormed out of the classroom. Yeah, he definitely loathes my existence, Hermione thought to herself, but it's just another person to add to the list of people who I've made hate me. Not a big deal, right.

Ron was in deep discussion with Seamus as Hermione joined them. Harry wrapped his arm around her shoulder and hugged her in greeting and Hermione's heart squeezed. 

This is how she knew they loved her but were just blind to how they hurt her too. Anyway,the most Harry did was always take Ron's side and Hermione didn't blame him. Ron was Harry's top choice, it wasn't really news to her. 

The sea of scarlett and gold left the classroom with Hermione's mind unconsciously lingering on a certain grey eyed Slytherin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi beautiful people!!  
> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, I'm sorry for not updating sooner buuuut my exams are finally over!! More updates coming soon! Writing it honestly the best part of my day. I hope all of you are well and I send so much love and happiness your way.  
> Leave a kudos and a comment, I really appreciate it!!  
> Stay safe and take care xx


	6. Chapter 6

Hermione made her way to the library to meet Malfoy. Unfortunately their partnership was forced to extend outside of the classroom as well. Snape most likely hated all of them and wanted them to suffer and so every assigned pair of partners had to work on a project worth a quarter of their final grade. 

To make matters worse, Lavender had it out for her. For some reason she thought Hermione was into Ron. Yeah, like that would make any sense , thought Hermione. Lavender recently had started to make little comments towards Hermione but she ignored it. It hurt but Hermione knew that she couldn't let it get to her. 

Draco meanwhile walked towards the library with a swarm of thoughts in his head. He hated how nervous he was. Malfoy's do not get nervous for fuck's sake. Just be your cold self, thought Draco. 

He came to a stop as he saw Granger approaching the entrance of the library as well. Her brown curly hair was twisted into a high messy bun with a few wisps of hair framing her face.He automatically sneered and Hermione rolled her eyes at him. He was getting a little too predictable nowadays. Malfoy stood in front of her and Hermione noticed his slightly broad frame from years of quidditch practise, his shirt was untucked and slightly cuffed, she shook her head of these thoughts.He unconsciously held the door open for her and waited for her to enter. Hermione was a little surprised but walked in. 

What? Malfoy's may be cold or snarky but they were gentlemen, Lucius Malfoy raised him to always treat any girl, pureblood or not, with respect. Albeit his and Hermione's fights were an exception.  
Hermione led them to an empty table that was open to all. She was not going to go anywhere secluded with Malfoy. Not because she was scared of him. No not in the slightest but rather because it just seemed so wrong. 

"Let's get this over with." Malfoy muttered as he sat down rather awkwardly. Hermione nodded in agreement, "Okay so we need to find a potion that's way past the advanced level and we need to both write a paper and successfully brew it." She said, biting her lip in thought. 

There was a moment of silence, "Okay, way to state the obvious." Malfoy muttered. It was childish, he knew that but he needed the empty space to be filled up with something before his thoughts overtook him.

Granger looked up and glared at him, "Malfoy we both know we would rather be anywhere but here so can you please keep the snarky comments to the minimum."

Malfoy sneered and rolled his eyes, "If you're done lecturing me, can we please get started."

Hermione huffed, "We should first find a potion we know that no one else will attempt. Professor Snape wouldn't appreciate repeated work."

Draco snorted, 'wouldn't appreciate' was an understatement. Hermione looked at him warningly , "So we both split up, look for a couple of books and see what we come up with." Said Hermione already getting up. Malfoy's gaze on her made her stomach flutter and she hated it. 

Draco watched her retreating form disappear among the shelves. Why did her skirt have to be so bloody short and why did it have to fit her body like that? He hated it. 

Draco breathed in deeply and tried to change his train of thoughts. Get to work, he thought to himself and got up.  
Draco was an exceptional Potion-maker and he knew in the back of his mind that he and Granger together could probably concoct the most advanced of potions and so he made his way towards the advanced Spell books. 

It was deep into the back of the library which was obviously abandoned. It seemed that Granger had the same idea because Draco was met with the sight of Hermione standing in front of the rack of books. Her lips fluttered as she whispered the titles of the books to herself and her fingers gently brushed against the spines of the books. 

Draco cleared his throat to inform her of his presence, for some reason it seemed like he was interrupting something private.  
Her head snapped towards him and she then nudged her head towards the opposite rack as if to tell him to go through the books that were there. 

Draco nodded, for once without a sneer or comment. He busied himself and not to his surprise, he found that he had already gone through most of these books as they were in the Malfoy Library as well. Draco actually enjoyed reading. It took his mind of things he would much rather forget. 

He slightly turned his neck and saw that Granger was still faced towards her shelf. She was on her tippy toes with her arm outstretched as she tried to get a book from the topmost shelf.  
What was she like, one-sixty-five centimeters? It wasn't short but average. 

But compared to his 5'11 , he had a good head of height over her. He watched her struggle for a moment longer before impulsively taking a step towards her.  
Hermione suddenly felt the heat of a body from right behind her and an outstretched arm right next to hers. 

"This one?" Draco whispered, his voice low and his fingers on the spine of a maroon colored book. Draco could feel her back brush against his chest and his brain and body immediately wanted to know what she would feel like pressed beneath him. 

What the fuck, stop thinking like that, Draco told himself. 

"Mmhm." She mumbled nervously, in response to his question. She could feel his breath against her neck and it sent goosebumps down her arms.  
Draco swallowed and took the book out and handed it to her. 

Both of them took a step apart from each other and stumbled a bit. Hermione immediately felt the tension between them reduce. It was almost magnetic. 

Hermione swallowed nervously, "Um I haven't seen this book before." She said abruptly as she looked at the cover. 

Draco tried to compose himself and glanced at the cover,"Defensio contra tenebris artium...medieval temporibus." He said, his voice quiet in thought. 

Hermione couldn't help but widen her eyes, Malfoy knew Latin? 

"You know Latin." She blurted out and immediately bit her tongue. Why are you trying to converse with him, you idiot.  
Malfoy raised his eyebrows in surprise and bit his cheek to stop himself from smiling at her pink cheeks. Okay so maybe she was cute when she's embarrassed.

"Yes, I learnt it when I was younger." Was all he said. Hermione nodded and tried to change the topic, "I-I think this will do." She said referring to the book.  
Draco nodded and Hermione started to walk towards their table. 

Draco took the opportunity to close his eyes and breathe in, now don't fucking look at her arse, he told himself. Get a grip and stop checking her out. 

Draco walked back to their table and found Hermione already reading the book. Typical Granger, he thought to himself. 

He sat there awkwardly for a few minutes as Hermione skimmed through the pages before saying, "Granger am I supposed to just sit here while you read?" His tone sounding annoyed. 

"Huh, oh but look at this," She said pointing to the page , "quod mutatio potionem." She said in an uncertain tone because of the pronunciation. "Once the drinker takes this potion, he or she is capable of shifting into objects so as to disguise themselves from their attacker," Hermione paused excitedly. "This is perfect!" 

Draco had to admit that it sounded brilliant, "So we can basically shift into any object we like?" He asked. 

"Uh let me see......no. The drinker doesn't have the power to choose an object. The potion chooses the object for them." Hermione said as she scanned the page, "Oh- so it's kind of like a patronus." 

Draco nodded deep in thought. "The potion chooses an object for the drinker by what's best suited for them." Draco paused from reading and Hermione continued, "The potion in total takes about forty five days to prepare." Hermione stopped, "Forty five days seems a little extreme."

"Why? Scared of spending that much time with me, Granger?" It sounded malicious in his head, but out loud it sounded like he was flirting. He bit his tongue, however, Granger didn't pick up on it, "Yes actually. I'm scared of adapting your prick-like ways." She replied casually. 

Draco's mouth fell open, "Oh that's rich coming from you. You must be the most in-" Granger cut him off, "Yeah yeah, most infuriating person you've ever met. You've said that before. You're getting a little too predictable, Malfoy."

"Stop interrupting me." He said coldly and slammed his fist onto the table in irritation. Surprisingly Hermione jumped because just that second a voice called out, "Hermione! What are you doing here with.... him." Ron's said in disdain as he approaching the table with Harry. 

Draco sneered, great just great. The golden trio all together. 

He noticed the way Granger was almost nervous to see them but she seemed to pull herself together, "I told you both before I left, we're working on our Potions project." Hermione answered her voice shaky. She really didn't need Ron making a scene about her being with Malfoy in the library. It was nothing but Ron always made it into something. 

Harry cut Ron off as he opened his mouth, "We wanted to know if you wanted to come watch us practise," His eyes moved towards Malfoys, "But if you're sure then we'll let you get back." 

Draco glared back at Weasley. Why was Weasel turning the same colour as his hair?  
"I'm good." Hermione said nervously, she was surprised Harry wasn't throwing a fit. Malfoy was all he seemed to talk about these days. 

"Hermione no, I don't like th-" Ron started but Harry cut him off, "Ron let's go, she'll be fine, she said so herself." 

Ron started to protest and Harry leaned towards Hermione's ear and whispered, "Only reason I'm leaving you alone with him is because it's a public space. This is the perfect opportunity to find out more about whether he's a death eater."

Malfoy watched the interaction annoyed. Why did Potter have to be so close to her face when whispering to her? 

He mentally slapped his forehead, oh come on Draco, how pathetic can you be to be jealous of fucking Potter. 

Hermione almost scoffed out loud at Harry's words.  
She didn't need his or Ron's approval to talk to people. But she told herself to just shrug it off. 

She barely whispered a goodbye to the two of them and Draco watched her watch their retreating figures disappear before opening his mouth, "Well, now that you're boyfriends are done interrupting, can we get back to work?"

Hermione glared at him, "They're not my boyfriends, not that it's any of your business."

"Oh someone's snappy, trouble in paradise, is someone mad at them?" Draco asked fake pouting, his tone malicious. 

"Fuck off Malfoy." Hermione said glaring at him. Why could he not just shut the fuck up.

"Oh no, touched a nerve there did I? Golden girl is swearing at me, must be serious." Malfoy said leaning forward. He was so used to people around him just listening to him or not engaging with his ways. Granger challenged that. In some fucked up way he enjoyed it. It excited him. 

"Malfoy, I would rather be anywhere but here, especially today. So either shut up or you'll just be digging yourself a deeper hole." Hermione answered following his lead and leaning back in following his moves. She hoped to God she sounded threatening. 

Draco breathed out. You're such a sick fuck, he thought to himself. Why is this turning you on? 

Draco immediately leaned back and tried to sound like he was mocking her, "Yes Granger, I'm sure you could hurt me." 

"Oh I know I could if I tried. With or without magic, do you want a repeat of third year or would you like to save your nose this time?" Hermione said her voice laced with boredom. 

Draco's mouth fell open and then scowled, "I despise you." He sneered at her. 

"Likewise," She replied. 

"Now, I'm sure as fun as this was for you, I'm not interested in wasting my time here. I'll go get the books that are required for our research and we'll start on our paper." Hermione muttered leaving no time for Malfoy to even try to interrupt her. She pushed the bench back as she stood up and disappeared amongst the shelves. 

Draco rubbed his eyes, feeling the tiniest bit better. At least he knew for sure that she still pissed him off. He was worried because recent situations had made him doubt his displeasure of her but luckily that did not seem like the case. 

Granger returned a while later with a stack of books and placed them on the table. Not wanting to get into another argument, the two started to silently get on with their work. 

Around thirty minutes later a soft but high voice interrupted them, "Um Hermione?"  
Draco lifted his head to see a little blonde girl in Gryffindor colors standing at their table. The girl couldn't have been older than a first year and she seemed shy. 

Granger however, seemed to recognize her and smiled, "Hi Eden, what can I do for you?" She asked in a kind voice. 

"Um I've been looking for a while but I can't find this book I need for my Charms essay," The girl whose name was Eden said quietly but her voice was laced with panic, "Professor Flitwick is very particular about homework and I've been looking but I can't-"

"Let me help you." Hermione said soothingly. Eden looked at Malfoy in wonder and Draco just watched the two interact. 

Hermione followed Eden's eyes towards Malfoy, he wouldn't mind would he? Anyway it doesn't really matter if he would mind or not, she thought to herself and with that she got up and led Eden gently to the common rack right in the middle of the library. 

Draco unconsciously stared at the two. He'd never seen anyone so ready to care for people. He watched the way Granger softly pointed out various books and how she tried her best to make Eden laugh as if to make her feel comfortable. 

He moved his gaze and stared at the words on the page in front of him. Granger enraged him, but regardless, he knew somewhere in the back of his head that she was basically a reincarnation of an angel but he would never ever dwell on it or acknowledge it. The thought itself petrified him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! Two chapters in one week?? I just couldn't help myself lolol.  
> Anyways I hope you guys liked it. Trust me, I'm just getting started.  
> Leave a Kudos and a comment telling me your thoughts. I appreciate your feedback.  
> Take care and I hope all of y'all are safe and healthy xx


	7. Chapter 7

Draco stood in Snapes dungeon as he tried his best to practise occulumency . "Draco you aren't trying hard enough."  
Draco scowled, "Well I'm trying my best!" 

"Try harder," Snape replied shortly. 

Draco glared at him. "Glaring at me won't close your mind to the Dark Lord." Snape said waving his hand. 

"Let's try again." Snape said leaving no room for him to protest. 

Draco took a deep breath. Legilimency according to him should be an unforgivable. It made him feel violated on another level. Your mind should be your safe place, it wasn't right to violate someone this way.  
He let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding, "Legilimens." Snape barely whispered and Draco felt something or rather someone enter his mind. 

Draco's eyes closed and he winced. His mind went back to his summer with Aunt Bella, images of the muggle woman and Greyback flashed in his mind. Force him out. Barricade your mind, Draco told himself. And he did try, he tried so hard. But it wasn't enough. It never was. 

He then felt Snape enter his recent memories. Images of him, Theo and Blaise flashed in his head, Pansy whining about something, Quidditch practise and Granger. Fuck not Granger.  
He saw the two of them in the library when she brushed up against him and he helped her take a book down. 

Fuck no. No no NO, he didn't want Snape making any assumptions. And with all of his might he forced Snape out of his mind using occulumency. 

Draco stumbled back onto a table, his hand was on his chest and he panted heavily. For a moment, neither of them said anything. The look on Draco's face was almost comical. Almost. 

"You did it," Snape said in shock. "You actually succeeded in getting me out of your mind."

Draco was almost offended at his tone, "Well don't sound too shocked."

"You dismantled my dresser." Snape said annoyed at the mess Draco had created when he stumbled. He just rolled his eyes at his Godfather and the two started to work on clearing it with magic. 

"Is there a reason that your memory with Ms Granger played such an important role in your motivation to accomplish occulumency for the first time?" Snape asking, his tone nonchalant but curious. 

"No!" Draco exclaimed already getting defensive, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Snape noticed his red ears but didn't mention anything about it. It was almost amusing. 

"Well then, let's go again." Snape said, changing the topic. 

Draco glanced at the clock and started, "I can't, I have to meet Grang-" He stopped. 

Snape had to force himself not to smirk and settled for quirking his eyebrows. 

"What?" Draco said annoyed. "You're the reason I'm forced to work with her." He said bitingly. 

"Since when do you care about your grades, I thought your mission was your main concern this year." Snape said. He enjoyed this too much. 

Draco's mouth opened and then closed again, "I-I mean it is but-" 

"I don't have to explain myself to you." Draco said stiffly. 

Snape raised his eyebrows at him, "Don't forget who you're talking to Draconis." Snape replied coldly, using Draco's full name. 

Draco glared at him, he hated that name. "You may leave." Snape said shortly. Draco barely grunted out an acknowledgement and left and shut the door with a little more force to show his displeasure. 

He made his over to the library fuming, what was with everyone in his life making assumptions about his feelings for Granger. Or more so his lack of feelings. They hated each other, there was nothing more to it.

Hermione on the other hand, had spent her Sunday watching the boys play chess. The weather outside was simply dreadful. You would think that someone who was raised in England all her life would be used to the rain but not Hermione. She hated the rain and to make matters worse, lightening and thunderstorms were her biggest fear. 

She was embarrassed about it. Harry and Ron always joked around that she could face a three headed giant dog and not be fazed but the sound of thunder had the power to reduce her into a shrivel of herself. 

Hermione sat curled up on the couch in front of the fire, bored as the boys played. At around four in the afternoon, Hermione stood up. 

"Where are you going?" Harry asked, lifting his head to meet her face. 

"Library, I have to meet Malfoy." Hermione said as she stretched her arms. 

The boys paused their game, "Did you get any information about Voldemort?" Harry asked. 

"Harry, I can't just- no I didn't." Hermione said, rubbing her eyes. 

"Hermione," Harry said, his voice almost whiny. 

"I can't just walk up to him and ask him that."

"Well then what's the point of meeting Malfoy?" Ron asked. 

"Ronald, I'm meeting Malfoy because I want to do well on my project. Not because I'm trying to be Harry's spy." Hermione said, trying to keep her voice calm.

Ron snorted. "What?" Hermione asked irritated. 

"Our Hermione," He mocked, almost pityingly , "Always working so hard."

Hermione had the urge to choke him because of his pious tone. Ginny, who was sitting on the other sofa, opened her mouth and started, "Ronald, I don't know who you think you are to talk to her in that tone but if you say another word I will personally hex your balls off."

Ron's mouth fell open, "Ginny, mind your own business, Hermione didn't mind what I said, right Mione?"

Hermione rubbed her forehead and looked at Ron in silence. 

"You're actually taking my sisters side?" Ron asked in disbelief. 

"Fine then, I'm sorry for being honest with you Hermione." He spat out before storming off to his dorm. Harry shrugged in apology and followed him up the stairs that led to their room. 

As Hermione sat down with a groan, Ginny rubbed her shoulders. It might seem ridiculous and dramatic to most people but Ron was extremely short tempered and lost it over the smallest things. 

"Don't let it get to you 'Mione. You're better than that." Ginny whispered. Hermione blinked back tears, she liked to be perceived as strong but then here she was crying because someone raised their voice at her. Pathetic. 

After a couple of minutes, she calmed down, got up and mumbled a goodbye to Ginny before making her way to the Library. 

Walking into the Library, she spotted Malfoy. Even from a distance, he was intimidating. He sat leaning back with his arms folded. His pale blonde hair had grown out a bit and was no longer short, trim and gelled like it was in previous years, it was a little messy and Hermione couldn't help but notice that it made him all the more attractive. 

Even with his jumper on, you could tell his arms were toned from years of being a Quidditch player. Hermione detested how enticing he was. 

She made her way over to him and Malfoy automatically sneered on seeing her, "You took your time, didn't you?"

She put her hand up and sat down, "Don't start Malfoy."

"Don't start what?"

"Just-just don't start being all Malfoy."

"Well that's bloody offensive." He said, she just asked him to stop being himself. 

"Sue me." She said, shortly. 

"Let's just get started," Malfoy said darkly, "Unless anymore of your Gryffindor midgets need help finding a book."

"Leave Eden out of this." Hermione muttered angrily. 

"What? Why are you so protective?" He asked amused. Hermione didn't reply and settled for glaring at him. 

"Aw does the midget get picked on?" He said mockingly, "Does she remind you of yourself?"

"Yes," Hermione said shortly, "Now can you stop being a sadistic arsehole or are you not capable of it." Malfoy was taken aback and ignored the clench of his heart at the pain in her voice. 

He pushed back the bench without a word and went to go get the books required, Hermione followed him to get the research material that she needed. Malfoy only noticed her presence when they reached the rack of books at the end of the library.

"Go back and wait." He muttered shortly.  
"Excuse me?"

"You'll never be able to reach the top shelf so don't even bother trying, it's annoying, I'll get the books we need." He said stressing on the word 'we' as if to show that he wasn't doing this for her. 

Granger huffed but then made her way back to their table. Draco rolled his eyes and then took in a deep breath. As cute as it was to see her struggle, he really didn't need the sight of her stretching and her jumper riding up and her- no no NO , fucking hell Draco, you're so sick, he told himself. 

He made his way back to their table and just as he sat down, a voice called out, "Oi oi Drakey." Draco smacked his forehead with his hand. 

"What in Merlin's name are you two doing here?" He groaned at the sight of Theo and Blaise. 

"Same as you guys, we're working on our Potions project," Theo said with his huge smile, "Heya Hermione." He said waving. 

Hermione smiled back, "Hi Theo."  
Oh so now BOTH of them are on a first name basis? Great just great, thought Draco, unhappily. 

Blaise slightly bowed his head politely, "Hermione." She shyly smiled, "Hello." She greeted. 

Both of them suddenly walked away and returned a few minutes later with a bunch of books and casually took a seat at their table, Theo sat next to Hermione and Blaise sat next to Draco. 

"Oh, do make yourself comfortable." Draco said sarcastically. 

"Oh I'm sorry, did you two want some privacy?" Theo asked with a big smile.  
Draco could've choked him right there.  
Granger on the other hand, just wanted to disappear into the ground. This is so uncomfortable, she thought to herself nervously, this is not how she expected her day to go. 

Theo took in both their red cheeks and Draco's threatening glare, "Didn't think so," He said cheerily, "Anyway, let's get started Blaisey."

The four of them worked in silence except for Theo occasionally breaking the tension by either asking Blaise something or trying to draw Hermione into the conversation. 

Hermione was silently praying that no Gryffindors would walk in and see her sitting among three Slytherins. She really didn't need rumors adding fuel to the fire. The fire, here, being Ron of course. 

The weather was already dreadful but it somehow got even chillier. Her crewneck and leggings didn't really keep her warm enough. 

Plus her anxiety because of the situation she was in, made things worse. Shivering, she tried her best to not let her teeth chatter. 

Draco observed her for a moment as she concentrated on her book and raised his wand and muttered in a displeased tone, "Focillo."

Hermione felt warmth spread across her body and looked up at Malfoy in surprise, "Did you just cast a warming charm on me?"

"Your shivering annoyed the fuck out of me." Draco said shortly and stared down at his book. Theo and Blaise looked at each other with wide grins. Hermione was both shocked and annoyed, "Well I didn't ask you to, so."

Blaise was so amused, these two were so entertaining together, the tension was immaculate, he thought to himself.  
Draco scoffed, "Ungrateful."

"Prick." She muttered back. "Next time wear warmer clothes, I'd rather not waste magic on you." Draco muttered irritated. Does she not have thicker clothes? It was freezing, what was she even thinking, he thought annoyed. 

"Next time don't bother if you're just going to an arsehole about it." She shot back. He opened his mouth but Theo jumped, "Okay then, let's try not kill each other today, okay? That's a reasonably enough plea right?"

"What are you even doing here?" Draco asked, glaring at his two friends. "Like I said, we're just here doing our work," Theo replied, his grin never faltering. 

"Hermione doesn't seem to mind." He said. She looked up with a slight smile and shook her head. Surprisingly, both Theo and Blaise seemed like really nice people, keeping aside the fact that they're friends with Draco Malfoy. 

Draco didn't bother to reply and just continued his work. Theo suddenly looked up about fifteen minutes later, "Hermione, what is the muggle equivalent of Potions? Is there even one?" He asked curiously. 

Hermione hesitated, she was so used to people undermining her muggle side but Theo's voice seemed earnest. "Um well, muggles learn chemistry and it's kind of similar to potions in a way."

"Did you ever learn it?" He asked interested. "Well no not exactly. I didn't learn it at school because I left too early," She paused. Malfoy was now looking at her in a way that made her VERY nervous. "But I did study a few topics on my own." Draco had to look down to hide his smile, typical Granger. Her intellect was one of the things he absolutely hated yet admired about her. 

"But why?" Theo asked, "If you didn't need to, why'd you study it?"  
Hermione shrugged and said nervously, "I don't know, I like learning new things and I found it interesting, so I-I just took it up when I had free time."  
This was the part where they would make fun of her for being such a know it all. 

"Woah," Theo said, "You're like really smart." It wasn't cutting, he sounded genuinely impressed. Draco took note of her body language, she seemed so surprised at Theo's response as if she was expecting them to react negatively. What kind of idiotic people did she surround herself with that they can't even treat their own friends right? 

He pushed down the urge to hurt anyone who hurt her. You idiot, you're one of them, Draco thought. But their 'thing' was mutual. She fought him and he fought her. 

The conversation continued as Theo asked more questions and Draco found it very hard to concentrate when she talked. Her voice was smooth and she used her hands a lot as she talked. It made things all the more difficult for him when she was so beyond endearing.  
STOP THINKING ABOUT HER LIKE THAT, he internally screamed at her. 

This was getting way too repetitive. He really didn't need this on top of everything. 

After a while, Theo and Blaise finally left. As much as the two annoyed him, it was comforting to have them there. For some reason he didn't trust himself around Granger. 

"We need the book, 'Objects of Dark Arts', for the disadvantages part of the paper," said Malfoy, "But it's in the restricted section so we'll have to ask Snape for a permission slip but I doubt he'll give us one."

Hermione bit her lip in thought. Why does she have to fucking bite her lip like that, thought Draco. See, this is why he despised her. It's like she knew how to piss him off. 

"I'll get it by tomorrow." Hermione said dismissively and tried to return to her work.  
"What do you mean you'll get it?" asked Draco. 

"I mean, that I'll get it. Can you not just leave it at that?" Hermione replied annoyed.

"No. Now, what do you mean you'll get it."

"For fucks sake Malfoy, it means I'm going to sneak in and get it! Are you that daft!"

Draco was bewildered with irritation, "You're calling me daft? You're the daft one! When are you even planning on carrying out your little rendezvous?"

"Half past midnight, Filch usually never takes rounds after that." replied Hermione glaring at him. 

How the fuck does she even know that? Oh wait never mind, she's best friends with Harry Potter. Of course she'll know how to sneak around, what with saving the wizarding world almost five times, how could she not? Thought Draco bitterly. 

"I'm coming along." He said firmly. 

"Oh God," She said with her head in her hands, "Please don't."

"I don't trust you to not fuck it up, and this is my grade too. I'm coming."

"I'm not even going to argue with you, I'll be at the second floor at midnight, if you're coming, come. Just make sure that YOU don't fuck it up for me." Hermione said, getting up and grabbing her bag. 

"Fine." He spat. 

"Fine." She spat back, before storming away. 

Fucking bastard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guyss, I know I'm posting too much but I hope y'all like it haha!  
> Let me know what you think by leaving a comment and a Kudos.  
> Stay safe and take care.  
> Always remember that you're worth so much more than you think xx


	8. Chapter 8

Fuck, thought Hermione, it's colder than I expected. Her breath turned into fog as she let out a gasp at the sound of footsteps. 

Malfoy stood ten feet away, "Finally." He muttered. "I didn't think you were actually going to come." Hermione shot back. The two glared at each other before Hermione muttered, "Let's go, I want to get back to bed as soon as possible." 

Draco could not relate. He rarely got any sleep. This felt like any other night to him. Both of them started to walk to the library in silence. 

Getting there, Hermione put a finger on her lips and Malfoy rolled his eyes in reply, how dare she tell him to be quiet. He followed behind her and they quietly snuck into the restricted area. Hermione cast a silencing charm around the room so that they weren't required to whisper. 

"Might as well take a look at the other materials we need but aren't really available to us." Malfoy muttered as Hermione grabbed the first book, 'The object of Dark Arts', "Okay." She agreed distractedly. She carefully turned the handmade paper on which the words were printed on. Malfoy watched her fascination almost fondly before pulling himself out of it.

Twenty minutes later, the two stood up, "I think we've gotten everything we need." Hermione said confidently.  
"I hope so, I'm not doing this again." Hermione almost flipped him off, did he think that she wanted to be here? Prick. 

The sound of footsteps made the two jump, "Wait," Malfoy muttered as they listened. Hermione felt her heartbeat speed up, oh bloody hell. 

If she got caught with Malfoy in the Library at this hour......that would not be good.

"Here." Hermione whispered as she beckoned him to a corner behind a shelf that leaned against the wall. 

Malfoy followed her, if someone found the two of them together it would literally be the out roar of the century. 

This just seems way smaller suddenly, Hermione thought as she took a step towards the corner. Draco stood in front of her trying very hard to not make eye contact with her. 

The footsteps got louder. They heard voices. Oh hell no. That was fucking McGonagall and Filch. 

"I'm telling you Professor, Mrs Norris knows that there are students in the area." Filch's voice said threateningly. 

"Filch, it is MIDNIGHT. I highly doubt that anyone would be in the library of all places at this hour." McGonagall's voice replied. 

"Mrs Norris is never wrong." Filch said angrily. 

"Fine! We'll take a look around then."

Draco suddenly realized that Granger was too visible. Fuck me. 

"Granger," He hissed, "Closer."

She looked up at him in confusion. Understanding, she got closer to him and swallowed nervously. 

Filch got closer and the two pressed themselves towards the wall so as to avoid being seen. Draco gulped, no girl ever made him this nervous by simply standing in front of him in close proximity. 

"Filch! This is a waste of time. No one is here."

"Ma'am, I refuse to leave until we search the entire area."

They heard McGonagall groan with disdain. "Fine, then we'll just go look around the entire library in the middle of the night!" McGonagall said with loathing in her tone.  
The two adults voice started to fade as they presumably walked away and Hermione let out a sigh of relief. "Wait, they're not gone yet. We have to wait until they've left the library." He whispered so as to avoid being heard. 

Hermione nodded. The two quietly put back the two books that they held in their hands. 

They stood uncomfortably for a few minutes as they waited until it was safe to leave. 

The pitter patter of raindrops had gotten heavier. The wind was blowing so hard that the windows rattled. She felt her chest tightening already. No no no, please no. Not now. She hated storms. It didn't matter how childish it sounded, it terrified her. 

Suddenly, there was a groan of thunder and a strike of lightning made Hermione jump. Malfoy too, almost jumped in shock at the feeling of Hermione's hand grip his bicep. 

"Granger?" He asked bewildered. 

"I-I don't like thunder. I re-really don't like thunder." She stuttered, her eyes trained at the outside of the window.  
Her grip tightened on his arm. It obviously didn't hurt him, her hands were too delicate. 

Draco didn't know what to do, her face was white as a sheet. Granger was scared of thunderstorms? That was surprising to say the least. It was so quiet that he could hear her heart pounding.

"Granger?" Bloody hell, he didn't what to do. He just knew that he didn't want her to be scared. 

He gently grabbed her wrist and nervously switched her grip from his arm to his hand. She unconsciously interlocked her fingers with his.

Oh my god. Draco felt his stomach flutter. I do not have fucking butterflies right now, he thought in disbelief. 

"Granger, breathe. You're going to give yourself a heart attack." He whispered as her lips quivered at the flash of lightening. 

He gently squeezed her fingers. He didn't know what the fuck he was doing. He just had the urge to hold her and make her feel safe. He hated his thoughts and he hated it even more because he knew that he couldn't do it ; that person could never be him. 

"The storm is outside and we're in, okay? It can't get to us. You're fine." He whispered reassuringly. She nodded, trying her best to get her heartbeat under control. You're fine, she told herself. Just breathe. 

McGonagall and Filch were long gone and Draco didn't know what to do next. This was not how he expected tonight to go. But he also knew what he had to do despite his brain telling him otherwise. 

"Come, they're gone." He said softly as gently as he could. They were still holding hands and their fingers were still locked as Hermione was too scared to let go. 

He gently tugged her along. He couldn't find it in himself to wrap his arm around her to stop her from shaking. They quietly walked towards the Gryffindor common room. 

On reaching, Hermione looked up in surprise, "Did you-did you walk me back?" Malfoy stood there not knowing what to say. 

"Well I-" He paused and the two of them let go of their hands. Hermione blushed, "I'm sorry. I just-" She stopped as if to calm herself down, "I just don't like thunderstorms."

"I figured." He replied quietly. "Well I couldn't just let you walk back, I was worried you would pass out on the way and everyone would blame the snake for their golden girl's ill health. " He continued offhandedly. 

Granger almost cracked a smile at his logic. 

It was like a wave of reality washed over the two of them and they immediately stepped away from each other. 

"Um- well I should go," Hermione paused , "Thank y-you, I guess?"

"Don't mention it," He replied, "No, literally don't mention it. Like I said, I did it so that I wouldn't be blamed." With that he turned around and walked away abruptly. 

Hermione turned around as well and stared at the portrait of her common room, dumbfounded. 

Draco stopped at the corner so that she couldn't see him and waited to make sure she got in safe before actually returning to his dorm.  
What? He just wanted to make sure he wouldn't be blamed for anything, right? Right. 

He suddenly stopped at the staircase in shock at his actions tonight. Draconis Lucius Malfoy, what the fuck are you doing? You're a death eater. A DEATH EATER. She doesn't know you switched sides, no one does. You haven't even been making much progress in occulumency, you cannot be risking anyone else's life.  
Concentrate on your fucking task. 

He was so mad. He had held her hand. He comforted her and he liked the way it made him feel? 

No, no, no! You cannot do this. You're too fucked up. You cannot allow yourself to involve anyone, it's not fair to them. It's not fair to her. She's too good. Too pure. 

Starting tomorrow you will THE most godforsaken bastard to ever walk the earth towards her. It's the only way, he told himself angrily. 

Simultaneously, Hermione stood in her common room, not knowing what to do.  
What the fuck was she even thinking? Oh that's right, I wasn't thinking, she said or rather screamed at herself. 

Hermione had dated two boys before and here she was freaking out about holding Malfoy's hand. 

Well actually it's understandable, Hermione thought. It's Draco fucking Malfoy. And she was Hermione Granger. 

He voluntarily held her hand. Well, more like you gripped it, she thought with a grimace. You're such a fucking idiot. And with that she pushed all thoughts of how safe she felt, how his body felt when he pulled her close to hide them from Filch, out of her mind and went to bed. 

Meanwhile, Draco stepped into his dorm accidentally bumping into a drawer.  
"Drakey?" Theo asked sleepily, "Where were you?"

"Don't worry about it. Go back to sleep." And with that he drew his curtains and layed in his bed. 

Unlike Hermione, he didn't fall asleep.Instead his mind drifted to the worst possible places. 

His mum was forced to live in a house full of rapists and murderers and here he was jeopardizing more people by leaving his guard down. 

And his dad....his dad was just trying to protect them. He trembled and gritted his teeth together trying to hold it back but failed and had to clasp his hand over his mouth to stop his sobs from waking up Theo and Blaise. 

Tears dripped down his face. He hated this. He hated himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy!  
> I know this is a short chapter but another update is on its way for this week! I gotchu hehe.  
> Please leave a comment telling me your thoughts and a Kudos too if you liked it.  
> I'm so appreciative of the support I've gotten so far, it makes my heart so happy<33  
> Take care xx


	9. Chapter 9

On Monday morning, Hermione woke up and inwardly groaned, the memories of last night still plagued her. I'm such an idiot, she thought. 

Lavender sneered at her as Hermione stood in the mirror and straightened her skirt. She just ignored her. Lavender was the least of her worries.

As Lavender and Parvati walked out, Ginny walked in, "Morning, 'Mione."  
"Morning Gin." She greeted back. 

Hermione let out a small yawn, Ginny noticed and asked frowning, "Did you not sleep well?"

She paused. Could she trust Ginny? Out of everyone in her life, Ginny would be the last person to judge her. 

"Um," She paused and sat on her bed, Ginny narrowed her eyes. She always knew when Hermione was keeping something from her.

Hermione took a deep breath, "I met Malfoy last night." Ginny's eyes widened comically, "Excuse me?"

Hermione laughed nervously, "No no not like that. We needed a book from the restricted section for our project so I was going to sneak in. Malfoy said he didn't want me to mess it up so he came with me."

Ginny stood in shock before joining Hermione and sat next to her, "He didn't hurt you or say anything, did he?" Ginny aked angrily. Hermione rolled her eyes, "Of course he didn't. Calm down. It was kind of the opposite."

Ginny looked interested, "Spill it."

"Um well, it was extremely chaotic. We almost got caught by Filch and had to hide. We had to hide behind a shelf and I was this close to him." Hermione said using her fingers to signify the proximity. 

Ginny nodded and then suddenly smirked, "Is that what's got you all flustered?"

"Ginny!" Hermione said sternly. "What! I don't like the guy but I can admit that he's one hot piece of-"

"Ginny!" Hermione exclaimed, closing her ears. 

"What?" Ginny asked evilly. 

"Can you let me finish?" Hermione asked frustrated. 

"Fineee," Ginny said pouting, "Go ahead."

"Well it got really awkward obviously, I mean, it's Malfoy! And then.....well then it started storming and there was lightening and thunder... "

Ginny sat up straight immediately. She knew what that meant. Hermione's fear wasn't as irrational as it sounded. She was one of the few people who actually knew exactly why Hermione was terrified of storms and she knew that trauma like that never really went away. 

"And?" Ginny asked cautiously. 

Hermione put her head in her hands, "I was such a fucking idiot."

"I panicked and grabbed his arm." She said groaning. Ginny's mouth fell open, "Hermione...."

"I literally held Draco Malfoy's hand."

"I thought you just said arm?"

"Um, he kind of moved my grip to his hand."

"He what!?"

Hermione threw herself backwards, "Oh my god, I don't even know. I was freaking out and I didn't realize and the next thing I know, we're holding hands and he's walking me back to the common room."

"He walked you back? What kind of alternate universe is this?" Ginny asked.  
"It was only because he didn't want to be blamed if I ended up passing out or something." Hermione muttered. 

"But how would he be blamed? No one even knew that the two of you were together."

Hermione raised her eyebrows in thought, "Oh," was all she said, her lips apart. 

"I didn't think about that. But it doesn't matter! It was all so weird. I don't even want to- ugh he must think I'm such a coward."

Ginny snorted, "Hermione you are not a coward. Plus why does it matter what he thinks of you?"

"It doesn't but-" She paused, "It was just embarrassing, I literally threw myself at him when the lightening struck."

"I hope you didn't actually throw yourself at him." Ginny said with a smirk. 

"Ginny." Hermione said warningly. 

"Okay okay I'll stop. But this is so strange. Malfoy being nice. And to you? No offense, it's just that you both despise each other."

"Yes, I know what you mean. But this also proves that Harry is so beyond wrong. Why would a 'death eater' go out of his way to help me... a muggleborn?"

"Well we already knew Harry was wrong. But its not like we can tell him. He and Ron would lose it."

Hermione shuddered at the thought of Ron ever finding out about last night. A feeling of guilt strung her heart. She felt like she was betraying her friends.

"But Hermione, this doesn't mean that Malfoy isn't still an arsehole. This just means he's not a serial killer, okay?"

Hermione nodded, believe me, she knew that. 

"And I know you always look for the best in people and I love that about you. But Malfoy? No. I don't want you getting hurt." Ginny said gently. 

Hermione nodded and gave Ginny a hug and the two of them made their way to the Great Hall. 

Meanwhile, Draco had gotten out of bed tiredly. He got barely two hours of sleep but it wasn't anything new to him. As he drew open his curtains, Theo stood on the other side with his arms folded and Blaise, who was a bit behind Theo was leaning on the drawer. 

"Oh God," Draco said groaning, "What do you two want?"

Blaise cleared his throat and said rather awkwardly, "Theo said that you only got back into bed at around one last night. Um, care to explain?"

Draco snorted, "Why are you two acting like my mum?" 

"Draco," Theo said sternly. He sounded suspiciously like Narcissa and Draco almost laughed forgetting his current predicament. 

"We won't stop nagging you unless you tell us," Draco didn't respond and started to walk around his room and freshen up.  
"If you were fucking some girl, tell us! Since when do we keep stuff like that from each other." Theo hollered. Why was he yelling? The whole common room below them could probably hear him. 

"Theo! Shut up, I was with Granger for fucks sake."

Blaise started violently coughing at his words and Theo had to thump his back and his own face was comically shocked. 

"You actually hooked up with Granger?" Blaise asked, his face red from coughing. 

"What the fuck is wrong with you both?" Draco said bewildered, "Of course I didn't. We needed a book from the restricted section and Miss Golden Girl decided to sneak there in the middle of the night and I went too."

Theo looked at him curiously, "Why did you go along?"

Draco wanted to smack him, why does he ask so many questions.  
"Because I didn't need her fucking up my grade too."

"That makes no sense." Theo whispered under his breath. Draco glared at him in response. 

"Well what happened?" Blaise asked curious as to why he was in an even worse mood than usual. 

"Nothing." He said abruptly. 

"Draco." Theo said sternly. 

Draco groaned and gave up, "I don't fucking know okay! One second we were hiding from Filch and the next second she was holding onto me because the thunder scared her."

"Wait, holding onto you?" Theo asked with a smirk. 

"Mate, I swear I'm going to kill you," Draco paused and took a breath, "I don't fucking know why she was so terrified but she was holding my hand and I-I didn't know what to do."

Theo held Blaise's hand by enveloping it, "Like this or," He paused and interlocked his fingers with Blaise, "Or like this?"

Draco held the bridge of his nose, why was he stuck with the two most annoying people as his best friends. 

"Answer the question, it's vital information!" Theo exclaimed. 

"It was the second one." Draco said annoyed. 

Theo gasped and Blaise had to stifle his laugh at Draco's death glare. 

Draco got up, "It was obviously a mistake. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking."

Both the boys stopped their antics at his tone, "Draco, I think you're being a little overdramatic, you were just trying to comfort her."

"Don't fucking tell me that I'm being dramatic, neither of you have any idea about what I'm going through." Draco snarled at them. The environment in the room completely shifted from amusement to hostile. 

"Then fucking tell us, we're your friends," Blaise said shortly, "Don't fucking act like we aren't there for you."

Draco clenched his fists, "Mind your own fucking business."

Blaise almost choked him out of frustration. 

"I'm done, I can't keep fucking up and jeopardising people," He paused.

"I-I can't. I have to treat everyone around me like shit, including Granger. I cannot slip up." He muttered to himself. 

Both his friends looked at each other, "Draco-" He cut Theo off and pushed past them.

"What do we do?" Theo asked panicked as Draco slammed the door. 

"There's nothing we can do. He's fucking stubborn. The only person I've seen shut his stubbornness down is Granger. But he seems to think that hurting her is the best way to mask his emotions." Blaise stopped.

There's nothing we can do." He repeated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!!  
> This is another short chapter, the next chapter might be short too or it'll be longer. I'm not sure yet!  
> But let me know what y'all think by leaving a comment a Kudos. Also, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 200+ KUDOS, I LOVE Y'ALL.  
> Alsoooo, leave me possessive Malfoy (dramione) fic recommendations pleasee, I haven't found any new fics recently :(  
> Anyways, take care and stay safe xx


	10. Chapter 10

Hermione sat in the Great Hall with Ginny by her side. Her mind uncomfortably lingered on the topic of her and Ginny's conversation that ended only ten minutes ago. Malfoy.

Speaking of the devil, a loud bang sounded around the entire Hall. Malfoy threw open the doors and stormed to the Slytherin table. His pale skin contrasted with his red eyes. They were bloodshot and his fists were clenched. 

Hermione and Ginny exchanged glances. Barely two minutes later, Theo and Blaise walked in and stood next to Malfoy and said something as if to try to convince him. Hermione tried not to look but couldn't help herself. She watched Malfoy look up at them and grit his teeth at whatever they said before he spat out words back at them. As if on cue, the three of them looked over in her direction. 

She uncomfortably shifted in her seat. Theo and Blaise looked concerned but Malfoy..... Malfoy looked at her with loathing. 

He turned away, pushed back his bench and stormed out of the Hall leaving his plate of food, untouched. 

"What was that about?" Asked Ginny. 

"I have no idea." Hermione replied, her voice a little shaky. 

Her stomach dropped at the way he had looked at her. Yes, last night was weird for both of them. But they ended it on a pretty neutral note. He seemed fine as they concluded it. 

So why was he looking at her like he wished she didn't exist?

Theo and Blaise both sat down at the table plaited with green. Theo's face was hollow, she'd never seen him without his wide grin. Hermione just had a feeling that somehow she had something to do with it, even though she had no idea how. 

_____________

Hermione nervously walked into Potions. It was her last class of the day and she was praying that nothing would go wrong. Malfoy wasn't there yet so she took her place and tried to slow down her breathing. Her fingernails lightly scraped the mahogany wood. 

The sound of the door slamming open made everyone in the room stop what they're doing and pay attention. 

Malfoy stormed in and Theo and Blaise stood behind him. It was clear that the two were trying to talk to him but Malfoy looked liked he couldn't care less at what they had to say. 

Theo tried smiling at her as he took his place in front of her but it came out more as a grimace. Malfoy, on the other hand, stood at the corner, leaned back on the wall and stared straight ahead. 

Okay then? Thought Hermione. She racked her brain to try and understand why he seemed to despise her ten times more today but came up with nothing. 

Draco stared ahead in silence,he knew what he had to do and how to act. His loathing was clear on his face. He despised himself. He despised the situation he was in and what he had to do and pretend to be. 

Snape walked in with his robes flowing behind him, "Get to work." He bellowed.  
Hermione quietly started to work on their potion. Draco just stood and watched her for a few moments and then began chopping. His own hands were shaking, the hands that held hers......no no no, you CANNOT think about that. You know what you are. You know what you have to be. 

For your sake and hers. You're doing her a favour. 

Hermione reached her hand out to grab a root from Malfoy's cauldron that she required. Her fingers accidentally brushed against his and Draco immediately retracted his hand back as if she burnt him. 

"Watch it." He spat out. He was trying so hard to sound angry. 

Hermione looked up in confusion, she barely even touched his hand, "Huh? Oh sorry."

Draco swallowed. Fuck, he hated how the slightest touch from her strung his heart, "Don't touch me," He paused. Blaise heard his tone and tensed up and stopped his moments without turning around yet, "Filthy, dirty Mudblood." 

Theo gasped. 

Blaise immediately turned around and said, "Malfoy no, that's enough."

Hermione stepped or rather stumbled back as if he pushed her. Her eyes sprung up with tears as she looked at him. Disappointment and hurt filled her heart and her stomach plummeted. He had called her that before in their second year but this felt different. 

It felt like he took her heart and stomped on it. It sounded like he loathed her and all that she was; her very being. 

If only she knew that the loathing he felt was not meant for her but for himself. 

Draco swallowed again. It felt like there was a lump in his throat. Empty, empty, empty, his brain chanted at him. Worthless, pathetic, coward, it continued to scream at him. 

Fuck, please don't cry, He thought to himself as he saw her brown eyes water. He figured it would make her hate him and that she would be mad. He didn't think it would hurt her. He hated himself all the more as he watched her stumble back at the intensity of his words. She blinked rapidly and turned frontwards and stared at her table top. 

Blaise went around his table and pushed his shoulders back and muttered with anger and disappointment, "Get out of here, calm yourself down. Take a walk, anything, just go."

He closed his eyes. Swallow your emotions, he told himself. He opened his eyes, "Fine," He hissed, "Like I give a fuck." And with that, he walked out of class and slammed the door shut. 

Snape looked up questioningly and opened his mouth but Blaise shook his head as if to say that something was wrong. He snapped his mouth shut but looked doubtfully at Hermione's stance. 

"Favouritism." Ron muttered to Harry. Neither of them checked on Hermione as they didn't even notice. 

"Hermione." Theo said, turning around. 

"No its fine." She muttered softly, holding up her hand before he could even go on. She couldn't meet his eyes. 

Theo came around the table and nudged her, she barely smiled but she appreciated the sentiment.

"Sweetings, it's hard to explain but just know that we're sorry." Theo said quietly. 

Hermione shrugged, trying her best to be nonchalant. She still didn't look up.  
"You didn't do anything and I'm fine." And that was it. They didn't get another word out of her. 

She didn't wait for Harry and Ron as the bell rang and simply made her way out with her hands shaking and her heart clenching. Hurt filled her veins. She felt so beyond sad. She hated that she let him hurt her. If it was the previous year, she would've gladly hexed him. But it felt different this year, she felt let down. 

It felt worse than Ron's words ever have. 

Malfoy's words held loathing and pure hatred in them. Hermione always tried to be a good person. A kind person. But his words made her feel small and terrible. 

She walked into the common room and ignored Ginny's greeting and ran up the stairs to her dorm and unsurprisingly found it unoccupied as her roommates often spent their time in the Quidditch field or in the common room. 

Hermione leaned against the wall and closed her eyes before she allowed herself to finally let go. 

Tears streamed down her cheeks. She heard the creaking of the door opening and knew already that it was Ginny. 

Without a word, Ginny sat beside her on the floor and wrapped her arm around Hermione. 

Sobs escaped her lips as one thought led to another. One insecurity gave way to another. One unhealthy friendship gave way to another. And before she knew it, her mind was spiraling down this endless dark hole. She felt like she couldn't catch her breath. 

"Shh-Shh, 'Mione, breathe honey, just breathe." Ginny whispered as she tried to get Hermione to steady her breathing. 

"Malfoy. Y-y-you were ri-right." She choked out. Her hand was placed on her heart. In some fucked up way, she felt like she was going to die. The flutter beneath her palm scared her. She hated how her anxiety controlled her instead of the other way around. 

"It's okay." Ginny comforted. She would deal with Malfoy later. Right now, her priority was Hermione.

____________

Theo pushed the door open with a loud bang. Draco sat on the floor with his knees to his chest and looked up, his eyes devoid of any emotion. 

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Theo snarled at Draco. He took a threatening step towards him. Blaise pushed him back, "Stop, let me talk to him."

He took a step and approached the pale boy who sat below, "Draco why did you do that to Hermione?" Blaise asked, his voice clear. 

"Do what?" He asked, staring at their feet. 

"Oh for fucks sake-"

"Theo, let me finish," Blaise said, cutting him off. 

"Draco stop acting cocky. You know what I'm talking about."

Fake it to the point where your own friends can't recognize you, he told himself and then scoffed out loud, "You're acting like I physically hurt her. I just called her a Mudblood. It isn't the end of the world."

Theo gasped at the way Malfoy repeated the word so nonchalantly, "How dare yo-"

"Draco," Blaise said, cutting him off again, "We've switched sides. We fucking know you don't buy into those prejudices so give it the fuck up. If you're going through something then FUCKING TELL US. But don't take it out on Granger. She's done nothing and she doesn't deserve to be hurt."

"You don't even fucking know her." Draco spat at Blaise, ignoring the rest of what he said. 

Theo rarely ever lost his temper but right now, he was so close to choking Draco, "We don't need to fucking know her. You and I both know that she's a good person. No one, especially her, deserves to be called that word. It's disgusting. I'm disgusted by you."

With that Theo left and slammed the door behind him, his frustration was obvious. 

Blaise stepped back, "I meant what I said. We're always there for you. We may never understand but we'll take care of you. We're brothers. Just don't try to be someone you're not." He said quietly and left the room to follow behind Theo and give Draco some space. 

You hurt her, Draco thought. But I didn't mean to, he told himself, I just needed her to hate me so that'll be easier for me to control these feelings that I barely understand. In some fucked up way, he knew it was for her good. No one deserved to be put in jeopardy especially because of him. 

Draco went back to what Blaise had said and thought, he's right about one thing, they'll never understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed! FYI, the word 'mudblood' to me isn't something thats meant to be used lightly in the books. It's a derogatory term and thats why the effects of it are intense and understandably so.  
> D sees this as an opportunity and uses this word to make Hermione hate him even more. It isn't justified but D is doing this because he thinks it's for her best  
> But anyway, leave a comment and Kudos if you enjoyed it, I would really appreciate it. Longer chapters are on their way!  
> Take care xx


	11. Chapter 11

The wood under her shifted as Hermione fidgeted in her chair. It was the next day and she sat deep into the library at a table in a corner. She felt beyond pathetic. She felt stupid for ever thinking Malfoy could ever look at her as an equal. It wasn't her blood that made her feel inferior, it was the fact that no matter how hard she worked, it wasn't ever enough. 

Ron and Lavender had officially gotten together last night and Hermione was genuinely happy for them. But the two of them, mainly Lavender seemed to think that she was out to sabotage their relationship. Hermione almost snorted at the thought, she barely even saw them. 

Now thinking about it, she was either always in the library or with Ginny. The few times she was in the common room with the boys, they practically ignored her or tried to get her to spy on Malfoy. So when on earth could she possibly ever have time to "ruin" their relationship that literally started twenty-four hours ago. 

She sighed as she looked out the window and saw the droplets begin to wet the glass and proceeded to start packing her bag. Hermione made her way out of the library. Her head was spinning with so many thoughts. She felt the worst she's ever felt this year and she didn't know how to deal with it.

She walked through the corridors and wasn't even thinking twice about going past Snapes classroom. It was almost eight in the evening, everyone was probably at dinner. 

Unfortunately for her, that wasn't the case. 

A gush of wind came her way as a door was pulled open with force. Malfoy stood there with his eyes blazing with anger, "I can't fucking do it." He seethed at Snape. 

"Don't use that language with me and you don't have a choice."

Both their heads turned as they saw Hermione approaching. Just my luck, she thought.  
She put her head down and tried to speed walk past them but Snape stopped her, "Miss Granger." He said grimly. 

She tensed and turned around. Her eyes caught Draco's but she immediately looked down, "Yes professor?" She asked quietly. 

Draco couldn't stop himself from looking at her. She looked tired and scared and so very sad. But somehow, she still looked ethereal, she was stunning. 

You did this, you made her scared of you. You're sick, his heart screamed at him. 

Snape studied Draco's glance, he'd known the boy since he was a baby and yet he had never seen him look so gentle and mesmerized with anything or anyone, never mind one-third of that detestable trio. 

"Why aren't you at dinner?" He bellowed. Draco looked at him and scowled, stop raising your voice at her. 

Snape ignored him. "Um I-I got caught up in the library, I'm going now." She said softly. 

"Well, what are you waiting for? Go!"

Please just look at me, Draco thought. Please don't ignore me. Please just know I'm sorry even if I can't say it out loud. 

But Hermione didn't, instead she nodded,"Yes Sir." And she walked quickly away from the whole situation.

Draco took a step forward, he wanted nothing more than to go after her and explain himself but Snape put a hand on his shoulder, "Come back inside." He said gruffly. 

There was obviously something about Granger that made Draco less stubborn and in some way, it reminded him of the person he used to be around Lily. 

"Sit." He instructed. 

"Draco you need to understand, I don't want you to do this either. But we can't have the Dark Lord getting suspicious."

Draco didn't reply, he had heard Snape's and The Orders plan just ten minutes ago and he didn't think he was capable of doing it. 

Aunt Bella wanted to meet him along with Maximus, another death eater, this weekend to find out more about how his 'mission' was progressing. Obviously the mission hadn't progressed at all because he had switched sides. But while The Order was trying to figure out how to ensure both the Malfoy's and Dumbledore's safety, Draco was required to pretend to be carrying out Voldemort's orders. 

"You need to meet them this weekend at Hogsmade's. It will be beneficial to both The Order as well as your family."

Draco breathed in deeply, he knew it was vital that the Dark side wasn't suspicious of him and his parents, and he also knew that he could probably manipulate Aunt Bella to spill a few of the Dark Lords new plans to take down Potter and Co. 

Snape continued, "I'm not denying that this is hard on you. I know they're maniacal and you've experienced and see too much for your age. But Draco, this is important." He paused. 

Draco looked up in surprise. Snape's voice was gruff but was also the most gentle he had ever heard him. 

"You could save a lot of innocent lives by finding out more. Innocent lives that may or may not mean something to you."

Snape bit his tongue to stop himself from saying Grangers name, he didn't need Draco getting all defensive again. 

But Draco knew deep down what his Godfather meant. His cheeks flushed red but his heart immediately knew that he had to do this. Snape was right, both Grangers muggleborn status added with her unfortunate choice in friends put her in more danger than ever. 

And although HE wouldn't ever mean anything to her, especially after yesterday, she did mean something to him. He didn't know what it was and he wasn't even sure if he ever wanted to know. 

"I'll do it." He said gruffly. 

He got up and Snape nodded in return. Draco bid his Godfather good night before walking off to the Slytherin common room. He was scared. Coming to Hogwarts was the only thing that he believed had barely saved him from himself. 

Being around the death eaters made him feel terrified on a whole other level. He had seen them perform cruel, inhumane crimes. He knew he could never be the same person he was before again. Nightmares plagued him every single night so forgetting any time soon wasn't a luxury he could enjoy. 

Meanwhile, Hermione had retreated to bed. She had gone to the Great Hall but she knew Lavender was trying to pick a fight with her as soon as she arrived and so she decided to just go back to the common room rather than wasting time by losing her temper. 

She crawled under her blanket, hungry from missing dinner and let out a breath. What were Malfoy and Snape arguing about? What didn't he want to do? 

All she knew was that he spoke of whatever it was, the same way he spoke to her yesterday. 

Pure hatred. 

______________

Draco made his way back from Hogsmades. His hands were shaking and he could hear his heart beating. He had met Bellatrix and Maximus in an old abandoned tea shop and they had used transformation spells to modify their appearance. A small part of Draco wanted them to get caught. He wanted them to be behind bars even though he knew that it wouldn't do any good because Voldemort was still alive and powerful. It was just the way they spoke about the things they did, it made him sick. 

Aunt Bella bragged about spells they had practised on muggles for their "entertainment" and her new forms of torture, but Draco had to just sit and listen because it took away the pressure of having to lie because she was so caught up in her sick games. 

He even had to force a laugh at the psychotic things she said, just to not appear suspicious. He hated it. He hated every second of it. 

But he got the information necessary. The Death Eaters were planning their attack on Hogwarts on the Third of May.  
It gave him what, a good seven months? It didn't seem like long. He dreaded the outcome of whatever The Order's plan was. 

He almost ran to the shared bathroom in his dorm and threw up the contents of his breakfast. His throat burned and his eyes watered from the process but it soon mixed with his tears. 

Theo and Blaise barged in and Theo kneeled next to him, patted his back and tried to comfort him. Blaise wet a cloth and tried to cool down his temperature. 

"Mate, you're fine. We've got you, you're safe." Blaise whispered to try and comfort him and Theo continued to rub his back as more bile raised up his throat. 

Draco got up shakily after a few minutes, flushed and washed his mouth before collapsing back onto the floor with his back against the wall. 

"I-I hate them, I hate this." He said softly, his voice cracking. Theo felt his own eyes fill up at the sound of his best friends brokenness. 

"I-I'm sorry." He whispered continuing, "I'm really sorry about what I said to Granger but I-I can't apologize to her. It's not- I-I did it because it got too risky." He whispered in defeat. He and Theo hadn't talked since the incident. 

"It's okay," Theo whispered, "Well it's not okay, but she would understand even if we don't." Theo didn't understand why Granger would be at risk. He didn't know that Draco had unexplainable feelings around this girl he barely knew. 

"She can't know." Draco said, wiping his eyes with the material on his shoulder, he was referring to his switching of sides. 

Lupin and Snape had made it clear that no one could know until it was over. It was much too dangerous, the Malfoy's were such a huge part of Voldemort's scheme. 

"We got you." Blaise repeated quietly and the three sat on the floor in silence. It was comforting for Draco as his head was spinning with unpleasant thoughts. 

He and Granger hadn't communicated so much as a word since he blew up on her. They worked in uncomfortable silence during Potions and she had made sure to stay five feet away from him at all times. They hadn't even worked on their project, although Draco was fairly sure that she was working on it on her own. 

He made up his mind, that if by some miracle he made it out of this war alive and victorious, the first thing he would do is apologize to Granger. 

Because it wasn't just a word that he called her. It was something that held so much disgust, pain, racism and prejudice and it was completely uncalled for. He wasn't that kind of person and he needed her to know that she was worth more than anyone had ever given her credit for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!!  
> I hope you guys enjoyed, leave a comment and a kudos letting me know your thoughts. Frequent Updates coming!!  
> Sending so much love your way, take care xx


	12. Chapter 12

She ran her fingers through his hair and let out a whimper which matched his groan. His lips couldn't get enough of her and his teeth sunk into her bottom lip. 

Fuck, the sounds that left her mouth were criminal. How could someone so pure sound so dirty? 

Her mouth left his and left kisses down his throat and nipped the skin at his adam's apple and he hissed. His hands left her waist and went lower until he was gripping her delicate curves, he squeezed and she let out a moan which vibrated across his body. He pushed her back against the wall, "What?" She asked as he stared at her wide eyed. 

"If you keep making those sounds, I will take you right here." He said, low and threatening. 

"Is that a threat? Because it doesn't seem like one." She said, her voice wickedly low. 

He growled at her cheekiness and stalked towards her in a predator like mode. 

He pushed her firmly against the wall and claimed her lips, once more. Their mouths became one. Her right leg hooked around his hips and he pulled her closer by holding her thigh. His lower half pushed against hers, their clothing still separating them. 

She gasped and he closed his eyes and groaned at the way she felt. 

And with that Draco woke up and opened his eyes so fast. He sat up, panting and in a cold sweat. 

HOLY FUCK, was his only thought as he looked around his room. Theo and Blaise were still fast asleep. 

He sat in absolute shock. The one time he falls asleep at a reasonable enough time and his nightmares were replaced with erotic dreams about the one person he knew he couldn't ever have....even as an acquaintance. 

He laid back in bed with his head filled with so many questions and so many images.

He shut his eyes harshly, no don't think about her like that, you can't, it's not right. He tried to convince himself that it never even happened, but even he knew that the bulge in his joggers was proof enough that he very much just had a dream about fucking Hermione Granger. 

As sorry he was at way he treated her, he was also suddenly extremely annoyed at her. How dare she enter his dreams without any warning. 

He groaned quietly and glanced at the clock, it was four in the morning. He got up and made his way to their bathroom quietly. He was in desperate need of a freezing cold shower. 

But he decided he needed to clear his head first. Draco threw a shirt over his head and quietly shut the door behind him. 

The weather was still wet and humid but it didn't bother him, he jogged around the quidditch field in an attempt to clear his mind space of curly hair and golden brown eyes. 

By the time he got back, Theo and Blaise were still fast asleep. After all, it was a Sunday and it was only five o'clock. 

Draco took a cold shower and then proceeded to go to Snape's dungeon and wake his Godfather up. 

"What in Merlin's name do you want?" Snape asked after Draco excessive knocking. 

"I have information." Draco said bored. 

"And you have to tell me right now?"

Draco shrugged, Snape groaned and let him in. "They've decided on the third of May." Draco said quietly. Snape nodded, deep in thought. 

"Is that it?" Snape asked after a couple of moments of silence. 

Draco shrugged again, "Aunt Bella just talked about her sick games for the rest of the time. She's not suspicious so that's something."

Snape frowned, no matter what his responsibilities may be, Draco was still a boy in his eyes. "It'll be over soon." He reassured. 

"Will it though?" Draco asked, leaning against the wall, his eyes closed. 

Snape cleared his throat, "Is that all?" 

"Are my parents okay? Have you heard anything?"

Snape replied, "Lupin got a note from them last week but nothing more since then."

Draco breathed out deeply, of course he still got letters from them, but they were all monotone and full of false pretences because anyone living in their house could read it. 

"Draco, they're fine. I promise, they're okay."

Draco nodded and bid Snape goodbye, he didn't see himself having heart to hearts with Snape any time soon. He hated that his mother had to live amongst such insanity. 

He only showed up at Snape's so early to kill time and on reaching his dorm, Theo and Blaise were both up but were still lazing around. 

"Where did you go?" Blaise asked yawning. 

"I had to report yesterday's information to Snape. Why are you both up so early on a Sunday?"

Blaise nodded and replied, "We planned on practising Quidditch today, Daphne and Pansy were going to come watch."

Draco shuddered, "You both go ahead, I don't have the energy for that today."

The Greengrasses had very extreme Pureblood ideals, it made him sick and Pansy was tolerable at her best but the two girls together had the power to make him want to jump off the Astronomy Tower. 

Blaise chuckled, "We aren't going anyway, the weather is terrible."

He nodded in agreement and Theo piped up, "Library after breakfast? We need to make some progress in Potions, Blaise."

Blaise hmmed and Draco sank into his clothing. "Draco, coming?"

"Um, I don't think so."

Both his friends looked confused, "Chances are that Granger is there and well- I don't know okay."

Theo groaned, "Draco, you know you have to talk to her at some point. You guys have a fucking project to finish."

Draco scowled, "It's not that I don't want to it's just that I-" He paused.

"I just don't want to make her uncomfortable okay, she looks scared of me and I don't like that."

Blaise smirked and Theo let out an "Aw." and clutched his heart, "Both of you stop that right now." Draco muttered annoyed. 

"Draco, why do you have to be so stubborn." Blaise asked exasperated. 

"I don't know what you're referring to." He said sticking his nose in the air. 

"You're coming to the library after breakfast." Theo said determined. 

Draco groaned as his two friends all but dragged him to the Great Hall. 

Once they finished breakfast they made their to the library. "I feel like we spend too much time here." Draco said yawning after an hour of aimlessly staring out window while his friends worked. 

"You may have a point." Theo replied as he frowned at the parchment in front of him. 

"Uh- Draco might've had a point when he said we'll run into Granger." Blaise said awkwardly as he scratched the back of his head. 

"Wha-" Draco's voice cut off as he looked in Blaise's direction. 

Fuck, he thought. 

Granger was walking in their direction oblivious to them sitting there. She was with the youngest Weasel and the two were laughing about something. The She-Weasel was animatedly narrating a story to her. Granger looked positively radiant compared to her mood around him. 

Her cream sweater was hugely oversized on her delicate body, it sucks that she's so pretty, he thought annoyed. His brain drifted to his dream but he immediately caught himself and pulled the breaks on those thoughts. 

Her smile dropped as she saw the three boys and her companion paused her story too. 

"Heya Hermione." Blaise said as Theo pulled Draco down as he attempted to get up and leave. 

"Hi." She replied with a small nervous smile. 

"I don't think we've met," Theo said with a huge smile towards the She-Weasel, "I'm Theo and this is Blaise."

"I'm Ginny." She said cautiously as they shook hands. 

"Malfoy." Ginny curtly in greeting, spite lacing her tone. 

"She-Weasel." He replied monotone. 

She scowled and opened her mouth to say something else but Granger grabbed her wrist and cut her off, "I'll see you guys around, we're going to go." 

"Wait don't leave!" Theo exclaimed. 

Draco snapped his gaze off the table and towards Theo, what the fuck? 

"Come sit with us."

Granger looked like a deer caught in headlights, "I-I don't think we-"

"Oh but please Hermioneeeee." Theo said, stretching out her name. 

"Oh no we really shouldn't-" She paused, "I'll see you both in class." She said kindly. 

Fuck, he thought, his heart dropping. She didn't want to be around him. She couldn't even stand sitting at the same table as him.

She whispered a quick goodbye and the two girls disappeared amongst the shelves. 

"Uh Draco?" Theo called out cautiously. 

"Mmhm yeah?" He answered as his gaze left the table for Theo's face. 

"Are you okay?" He asked. 

"I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?" He said lowly. 

"Your fists," Blaise said, "Stop clenching them."

Draco understood and unclenched his fists, it was a coping mechanism that turned into a habit to control his emotions. 

"You need to stop doing that." Theo scolded, he sounded like a mum but he was right. Because of how frequent Draco did it, there were marks on his palms. 

"Draco, can you say something mate?" Blaise said after a minute of complete silence. 

Draco looked up, he didn't know what to say. He couldn't talk to her and he hated it. It confused him, everything was so confusing. They weren't even friends, so why should he care if she ignores him. 

No no, he didn't want HER to ignore him. 

"Excuse me." Draco said getting up and going in the direction Granger had gone. 

He walked past each shelf until he finally spotted her, "Granger," He called out. 

Hermione looked up from the book she was holding to see Malfoy walking towards her. 

"Can we talk?" He asked quietly as he glanced at Ginny who was just staring at the two of them. 

"Uh-"

"No way in hell, you have some ner-" Ginny started off, "Gin, its okay," She comforted. Well clearly, Granger mentioned the whole incident to the redhead. 

"Go sit down, I'll be there in a minute."

Ginny warily looked at Granger who nodded reassuringly and left him with one last glare. 

Hermione turned her body towards him and took a step back to put more distance between them. She nervously shifted from one foot to the other and looked at him expectantly. 

Well fuck, thought Draco. I'm not sure what I even want to say to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed. Just another side note that this is story is going to have a lot of smut, so read only if you're comfortable with that.  
> Leave a comment and a Kudos please!! xx  
> Take care and stay safe


	13. Chapter 13

He stood in front of her, his eyes wide. What the fuck do I say, he thought in horror. He didn't realize where his feet had taken him and what his mouth had said until she stood in front of him expectantly. 

Silence filled the air and Hermione stood there, not knowing what to do. Her throat was dry as she swallowed nervously. She wasn't short but he seemed to tower over her from where he was standing. 

"Malfoy," She said a little shaky, "Is there something you needed?"

You, he thought but caught himself before he could say it out loud. 

So many words, so many apologies threatened to spill from his lips but he couldn't.... he knew he couldn't. 

"I-," He paused and she nodded as if to tell him to continue, "We need to work on Potions- we haven't made much progress." He said coldly, hating himself for settling on the most invalid reason. 

Disappointment washed over her and she tried to keep it from showing on her face. "Oh," She whispered, how could she still expect more. "Yes, we should." She said stiffly. 

"Tonight," He blurted out. "Meet me here tonight at ten."

Before she could argue, he walked away abruptly back to his table.

She bit her lip both hurt and frustrated, but before she could dwell on it, Ginny showed up and nudged her, "What did he want?" She asked. 

"I honestly don't know." Hermione muttered softly. 

________________

The dorm room of the three Slytherin boys was unusually quiet. Instead of opting for sitting in the common room, they had decided to just retreat back to their room after dinner. 

Theo and Blaise sat and played cards whereas Draco sat on his bed with the new edition of Quidditch times. Though none of the words went through his head. He kept glancing at the clock, his conversation with Granger looming over him. 

Nine-fifty, the clock showed, he got up and grabbed his wand, "Where are you off too?" Draco stopped in his tracks as he heard Theo's voice. 

He managed to dodge their questions earlier but now there seemed to be no way out. He cleared his throat, "I'm meeting Granger for Potions."

Theo put down his cards and Blaise spoke, "What? Now?"

"Yes." He replied stiffly. 

His two friends looked at each other, "Drake, are-"

"It's just for Potions. The faster we finish it, the better." He said stubbornly. Before they could say any more, he bid them goodbye and left. 

He let out a sigh as he reached the library and his stomach felt unsettled, what if she didn't show up? What if she couldn't even stand to finish this assignment with him? 

Just then, he heard footsteps approaching and then Granger stood in front of him, her curls framing her face and her nose pink. She seemed a bit out of breath, as if she had ran here, "Sorry I'm late." She said meekly. 

He hummed and the two of them quietly went inside and towards the furthermost table in the restricted section. 

This is beyond awkward, Hermione thought as she took a seat and Draco rumbled over the books. At least earlier, their bickering would fill up the empty spaces that seemed to hang over the two of them like a grey cloud. 

Draco cleared his throat, "We stopped at objectifa phenomena right?"

"Um yes, I did a little more research last week, so I have enough to complete that section."

"You did?" Malfoy asked surprised. 

"Well ye-yes, I wasn't sure if we were going to complete it separately or..?"

Draco stepped back, of course she wanted to do it separately. What with his behaviour plus Potter's misgivings about him, she looked at him like he was equal to the inhumane ones who had taken over the Malfoy Manor. 

Hermione looked at his unexpected stance, "Nevermind," She whispered, "Let's get what we need to get done and leave."

Draco nodded wordlessly and decided to take a seat at the next table. She didn't want anything to do with him. The last thing he wanted was for her to be scared around him. 

Hermione glanced up, oh so now we're sitting at different tables, she thought. But she forced herself to not dwell on it and let it be. 

Around forty-five minutes later, Draco couldn't help himself, "If you want to do it separately, that'll be okay." He said gruffly.

Confusion flashed across her face, "I'm sorry? Why would I-what? "

"Don't play pretend." He whispered. He could physically feel his brain shutting down into defensive mood. 

Hermione scrunched her eyebrows together, "I never said that."

"But you meant it either way."

She let out a mix between a gasp and a sigh, "Why are you acting like all of this is my fault?"

"What is?" Malfoy asked almost tempting her to strangle him. 

"Who's playing pretend now?"

Draco just scowled to himself, Granger groaned, "I don't want to pick a fight with you right now. " She said quietly. She wanted to go back to her bed and sleep away tonights events. 

"Why not? You seemed to want to do it for the five years." He muttered darkly. 

"That's before you made it clear that I'm nothing more than dirt in your eyes." She whispered to herself. 

"What was that?" Draco asked quietly. He only picked up on the last few words.

"Nothing."

Frustrated with everything, Draco slammed the book down a little harder than necessary. 

Hermione visibly tensed. He noticed and hated himself all the more. A week ago and although she hated him, she trusted him to protect her when she was scared. Now he seemed to be the one scaring her. 

"I'm not going to fucking hurt you." He said venomously. 

"Sorry?"

"Granger for fucks sake stop apologizing to me, stop being scared of me, stop being this way."

Hermione's mouth fell open, "Are you actually blaming me right now? Maybe I wouldn't be this way around you if you didn't go around acting borderline amiable one day and then biting my head off and treating me like dirt the next for no reason." She finished in one breath. 

How dare he hurt her and then come up to her and act like nothing happened and then blame her for 'acting' a certain way. 

"Forget it." She said quietly, rubbing her forehead and letting out a breath. 

He snapped his mouth shut and then opened it again, "You don't get it."

"I don't get what?"

"You don't get how hard this is."

Her eyes widened, "Okay, I have no idea what you're referring to."

He chuckled darkly, "Of course you don't, that's the worst part."

"Malfoy are you speaking in code because I don't know whether you're messing with me and if this is another ruse to somehow hurt me or-"

He let out another laugh, of course she assumed that he WANTED to hurt her. 

Frustration and uncertainty got the better of her and she stood up, "I should get back to my dorm." She said shortly and started to put back the books she took out, his voice made her pause, "You aren't though.....you aren't dirt."

"Excuse me?" She asked, he got up abruptly and stalked towards her. She stepped back until her back was against the wall. 

His grey eyes seemed to consume her very being. Draco's own heart sped up, there was barely a couple of inches between them. 

"Malfoy what-"

"I said that you aren't dirty or filthy or any other word I called you." His voice thick, his hands were barely the distance of the width of a sheet of paper away from her face. His fingers barely touched her skin as he traced those high cheekbones of hers that were now pink. 

Her arms broke out in goosebumps. He had never been so close to her, she could hear both their hearts pounding. Her ears couldn't believe what his lips had just uttered. 

He chuckled deeply, "You're fucking pure, Granger. Only an idiot can tell you other wise. That's what I am... a bloody idiot."

Her lips were apart as she stared at him wide eyed. Fuck, he thought, she's so close, so beautiful, so endearing, so desirable. 

She swallowed and seemed to find her voice, "Why are you telling me this?"

He chuckled again, "This is the least that I could be telling you. I'm really am an idiot.....I just couldn't help myself." He whispered as he tried to count her freckles on her nose but lost track whenever his eyes drew down to her lips.

"You don't understand Granger," He said lowly which sent shivers down her spine, he continued, "And that's okay, that's the way it's supposed to be. But just don't ever listen to me, you're more pure than any pureblood supremacist that has walked the wizarding world,"

She sharply breathed in , his fingers now playing with the curls that framed her face, "But you don't need me to tell you that." He said softly. 

She sincerely hoped that he didn't notice her shivering every time he traced her skin. 

Draco felt something suspiciously like butterflies in his stomach but he couldn't bring himself to look away. She was ethereal. 

"Tomorrow when you wake up, you're going to have to pretend like I never said anything."p>

"But why?" She whispered confused and hurt. 

"So many reasons, so little time." He said softly. 

Forgetting the situation, she let out a soft laugh and his eyebrows furrowed although his eyes shined with endearment, "There you go again, speaking in code." She said softly. 

He chuckled back and then stepped back, Hermione immediately missed the warmth that came from him. It felt safe. 

"Its late," He said quietly, "Let me walk you back."

She nodded, her head filled with questions, she knew she couldn't have the answers for. 

They walked back in silence, but this time it was a comfortable one. She blushed as she realized that he was walking her back and that he actually wanted to walk her back. Again, it made her feel safe in a way. She hasn't forgotten his previous venomous words but she did appreciate his vulnerability, even if it confused her all the more. 

She thought about everything and tried to be rational instead of following the urge to want to think about how it felt when he just barely touched her. 

They now stood in front of the hallway to the Gryffindor entrance, "What if I don't want to pretend?" She blurted out in wonder. 

His face tightened, "That isn't an option."

He noticed the disappointment that crossed her face, "But why?" She asked stubbornly. 

"Always so curious." He said a softness to his voice that she hadn't ever heard before. 

"Goodnight Granger." He said with a slight inclination of his head. 

"Goodnight." She whispered and watched him turn away and walk off. 

Little did she know that he waited in the dark corner to make sure she got in safely. 

Draco rubbed his eyes as he walked to his dorm. He felt better yet worse. Better because at least she didn't hate him as much and worse because of the increase in the attraction that he felt for her. 

It was too high of an intensity to ignore and it confused him, because he didn't know what to make of it and it hurt him because it was never a possibility to explore it. 

Hermione on the other hand, laid in her bed with the curtains drawn. Her fingers absentmindedly traced her body, just like he did to the skin of her face. Her stomach felt fluttery and excitement seemed to flow through her veins. 

Unfortunately it also mixed with confusion, frustration and hurt, he seemed to make it clear that tonight.... whatever tonight was, could not change anything. 

But somehow the thoughts of the factuality that he told her that she was worth something, lulled her to sleep. 

Even though she knew, her worth could never be defined by someone else, it felt good to not have someone put her down for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi you guys!! Happy new year, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm sorry for not posting but I took a bit of a break to spend time with my family for the holidays but now I'm back on track.  
> To be clear, they didn't kiss or anything, this fic is a slow burn so get ready to be frustrated.  
> Leave a kudos and a comment please! I would really appreciate it.  
> Take care xx


	14. Chapter 14

Draco woke up to two faces looking down at him in silence. He jumped, "What the bloody hell are you two playing at?" He asked as Theo and Blaise stared down at him. 

Theo just reached down and poked his face, Draco groaned, "Of course I had to be best friends with two freaks." 

"You love us." Blaise said snorting. 

"Now tell us what happened with Granger yesterday." Theo said almost too excited. 

"Can you stop jumping around like you're on a sugar rush," Draco said as he rubbed his eyes and sat up, "Nothing happened."

Blaise snorted again, "Then why are your cheeks so red."

Draco flushed harder, "Fuck off." He muttered.

"Oh my, does Draconis have a crush?"

"I will murder you." Draco mumbled. 

Theo just quirked an eyebrow at him, Draco groaned and said, "Ugh fine, I apologized but not really."

"Oh," Blaise said mockingly, "That makes complete sense."

"Shut up." He said gruffly. 

Blaise put his hands up, "We won't ask anymore questions." He said, rolling his eyes at Draco. 

Draco grabbed the items he needed from his drawer and then he paused, "She really is fascinating though, isn't she?"

Theo looked up and before he could reply, Draco left towards the bathroom. 

Blaise bit his cheek in thought, "I missed seeing that on him."

"What?" Theo asked. 

"His eyes," He paused, "they have the slightest bit of life in them."

___________________

Hermione knew when she woke up that no matter how her heart had fluttered last night as he touched her face, that it could not mean anything. Platonic or otherwise. 

The thought of his fingers on her skin made her flush as she got out of bed. But deep inside, she knew that even though she didn't understand, he was right. They couldn't ever be friends, even amiable was still pushing it. 

What are you even doing, Hermione? This is Draco Malfoy, the biggest prat to walk the earth and here she was blushing at the thought of him. 

Last night somehow seemed personal so she decided against telling Ginny for now. She walked into the Great Hall, ignoring the drop of her stomach as she saw Harry, Ron, Lavender and Parvati all sitting together, an empty space not in view. 

Ginny waved her over to the end of the table, her eyes narrowed at her brother's stupidity. Hermione sat with Ginny and Luna who often sat at the Gryffindor table. 

Harry tried to smile at her but he looked rather awkward as Lavender was glaring at Hermione with loathing in her eyes. 

She ignored it and gently smiled back at Harry. Bless him, always trying to not get involved in Ron and her little tiffs. 

The three Slytherin boys walked in together, Theo was still taking the piss out of Draco for various different reasons, mostly reasons related to a certain curly haired girl. 

They sat down at their usual place at the table. Draco's eyes immediately tried to find hers, he found himself glancing at her and then looking away, her eyes found theirs and Theo grinned and waved at her. 

She simply just smiled gently and waved back at him. Ron who caught eye of this interaction got up abruptly and all but squeezed himself in between Dean and Hermione. 

"Ron uh what are you doing?" She asked confused as she tried to move away, "I'm sitting here, is that not okay?" He asked innocently. 

Hermione rolled her eyes, of course....he was mad she had friends outside of their group. She wanted to cry out in frustration at his audacity. He ignored her and then expected her to still come lagging behind them. 

Draco watched discreetly with furrowed eyebrows at the way she moved away from the Weasel. 

He instinctively got ready to get up as he saw her flinch as that redheaded baboon tried to move closer to her, but Blaise's hand pushed his shoulder down to get him back in his seat. 

"But she's clearly uncomfortable." He hissed under his breath to Blaise. 

"And you're clearly in public and aren't so much as friends with her, right? People are watching Draco, now more than ever." Blaise said sternly but comfortingly. 

Draco hated that Blaise was right.

"Eat." Blaise instructed and the three looked down and tried their best to not look at the Gryffindors. 

"Weasels a dick." Theo muttered annoyed. 

Hermione nervously moved away, she knew that Ron's intentions wasn't to make her uncomfortable, but just to make it known to Theo that she was still their friend. Much like a muggle second grader who would get jealous of their best friend making new friends. It was childish and ridiculous. 

"For fuck's sake Ronald, move, if you're going to sit here then at least let her eat in peace." Ginny said scowling. 

Ron double checked that the "snakes" had looked away before getting up and going back to Lavender without another word. 

Hermione wanted to pull her hair in frustration, how could she not stand up for herself, how could she just let him demean her and almost control who she didn't and did talk to. 

Hermione did what she always did and pushed her thoughts away before it could consume her, she ate and tried to chat as cheerfully as she could with Luna and Ginny.

She got through her first two classes which were luckily free of Ron and Harry and then made her way to Potions, knowing that there was no way to avoid it. 

It might not a big deal to anybody else but she, Hermione Granger making friends with two Slytherins could've been the easiest way for Ron to lose the infamous Weasley temper that he very much possessed. 

She walked into class, not surprised to already see the three boys there, ignoring Malfoy like she had to, she shyly greeted both Theo and Blaise. 

Draco looked up from his book from the corner of his eye for a brief second just to catch a glimpse of her face. 

More students started to fill in the class and Theo started to take the piss out of Blaise to make Granger giggle. 

At the tail of the flurry of students came the iconic duo of dicks, as Draco liked to call them. 

"See," Weasel whispered not-so-quietly to Potter, stopping at their table, "she's actually all buddy buddy with Slytherins." He said with disgust. 

Hermione wanted nothing more at that moment than to sink through the ground. Harry looked apologetically at her and quietly went and took his seat next to Parkinson.

"A snake Hermione, really?" Ron said, disgust dripping from his mouth. 

She snapped her head towards him, "His name," She muttered dangerously, "is Theo."

Ron stepped back at her tone, she quirked her eyebrow at him almost daring him to say another word. Ronald could say all he wanted about her, but he had no right to insult Theo, who had never even so much as said a word to him in his lifetime. 

Draco couldn't stop himself from smirking almost proudly, that's his Gryffindor fiesty golden girl. Wait what-

Not his, he meant, "that's THE", not his, not his, he told himself, sternly. 

"What are you smirking at ferret?" Ron hissed, recovering from his shock. 

Hermione turned her head back to Malfoy and caught his smirk, what is he smirking at, echoed Hermione in thought. 

Draco looked up from his book nonchalantly, "Oh nothing, I just love seeing your huge ego being burst every now and then," He paused and his eyes glanced at Granger before looking back to the Weasel immediately, "no matter where it comes from." He said, his voice seemingly sounding disgusted but Hermione caught the pretence and the endearment laced in his tone and couldn't stop herself from lightly blushing. 

Ron, fortunately did not notice and glared at Malfoy in response before stalking off, Blaise and Theo, however caught it and smirked knowingly at each other. 

Snape walked in, which immediately caused everyone to be silent. Instead of working on potion-making, today's class was focused on theory. 

The class of students listened silently as Snape snarked on, not wanting to get on his bad side. 

Draco found it extremely hard to not get distracted in the pin-drop silent classroom. He could hear himself swallowing and his faint yet fast heartbeat. 

Hermione fidgeted in her seat, and then crossed her legs trying to find a comfortable position. 

His eyes unconsciously flicked down and was met with the sight of her legs, how could limbs be that desirable. Why are you acting like a horny thirteen year old, he told himself, frustrated. 

The way she was sitting did not help, why did her skirt have to look so good on her. 

Draco never gave a fuck what a girl wore, it was all their choice and he couldn't care less. The world today, both muggle and magical over-sexualised everything about the woman's body, but Granger.... Granger was beautiful, everything about her seemed so desirable. It wasn't perversion, truly it wasn't, it was admiration. Her brain, her heart, her looks, fuck, everything about her; from her intelligence to her beauty was so fucking sexy. She deserved to be admired, the word 'fascinating' didn't do her justice. 

As Snape stalked around the front of the class, making snarky comments while listing out various ingredients and what their function was, Hermione's lips moved as she murmured what Snape was teaching to herself as she had already read about the Potion. 

Draco's sharp ears caught her faint murmurs and turned his head towards her, a sense of pride filled his chest..... so fucking intelligent. 

It was absolutely amazing how she knew almost everything that the magical world had to offer. 

He let out a low chuckle of endearment directed at her, no one else seemed to notice but Granger turned her focus towards him questioningly. 

Oh, he thought to himself, he didn't mean to make any sort of expression out loud but he composed himself and tried to sound snarky but it came out a mix of endearing and admiration, "Know-it-all."

She quirked an eyebrow at him, she could see through his pretences yet again and he couldn't help himself from smirking. 

Granger's cheeks turned pink at his gaze and his smirk just grew wider, it felt good to know that he had an affect on her, just as she did to him. 

"Prick." She whispered bitingly and turned her attention back to Professor Snape. She bit her cheek to stop herself from smiling and Malfoy noticed this and ignored the way his stomach fluttered. 

Luckily for the two, they were seated in the last row, in the corner and no one noticed. No one except Snape of course. 

I hope to God that this boy knows what he has and isn't stupid enough to let it go and ignore it against his better judgement, Snape thought to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii!!  
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'll be updating once a week or once in two weeks, hope this schedule is okay with you guys. Stay safe and let me know your thoughts by leaving a comment and a kudos.  
> Love you xx


	15. Chapter 15

Hermione hated the way she felt disappointed when Potions ended. Never in a million years did she think that she, Hermione Granger would not want to bolt from her seat while sitting next to Draco Malfoy. 

She got up and slung her bag on her shoulder, Ron pushed past her speedily and her heart dropped. Draco on the other hand wanted to snap that redheads neck, did he honestly not realize that treating a girl, never mind Granger with such disrespect was simply not acceptable. 

Blaise placed a hand on his shoulder, once again reading his mind and trying to placate him. Hermione watched Ron's retreating figure with a sad frown on her face, Harry came over and placed an arm around her shoulder comfortingly, "He'll get over it, he always does."

But it still doesn't make it okay, thought Hermione but she just settled for a nod.  
Harry stiffly nodded at Theo and Blaise as the three Slytherins were watching them but he glared when his gaze met Malfoy's. 

Draco glared back haughtily and Hermione rolled her eyes at both of them, well she definitely didn't expect the two of them to get along. She barely knew if she and Malfoy got along. 

She waved at Theo and Blaise as Harry led her out, his arm on her shoulder, she felt almost bad for ignoring Malfoy as she could feel his eyes on her but she couldn't very well be friendly with him, ugh no that would simply be weird. 

"Are you actually friends with Nott and Zabini?" Harry asked cautiously, as they left. "Not you too!" Hermione groaned, Harry put his hands up in retreat, "Only a question, just be careful," He said, "I don't really care, as long as it isn't Malfoy." He said in disgust. Hermione wasn't surprised at his response. 

Draco on the other hand, glowered for a few minutes as Potter and Granger left the classroom, Theo thumped him, "Stop glowering."

"Excuse me," Draco said haughtily, "I do not glower."

Blaise rolled his eyes, "Well then stop being jealous, it's Potter for Merlin's sake, they're just friends."

Draco gasped, "I am not jealous!"

Theo laughed at the tone of his voice but it got cut off by the door opening and Granger stood there, her eyes wide, "Oh," She squeaked out, "I didn't think anyone would still be here."

"Why are you back?" Draco blurted out. 

Hermione looked take aback, did Malfoy know how intimidating he could be sometimes? 

"I left my textbook," She replied with a glare of her own, "What's it to you?"

It wasn't her fault that he always picked a fight with her! 

Draco glared back, he didn't know why they were arguing at this point.

Hermione grabbed her textbook from their desk and put it in her bag and said goodbye to the other two, and headed towards the door, desperately wanting to get away from Draco's tense gaze and Blaise and Theo's amused smirks. 

"Granger," He suddenly said, his voice making her stop at the door, "There's an empty classroom on the second floor, third door on the right. Meet me there at six," Granger stared at him, her lips slightly apart in question, "For Potions." He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

Her shoulders relaxed, Potions... of course. 

"Oh." She said, a blush creeping up her neck. 

"Why Hermione, did you think there was another reason Draco here, would like to meet you in private?" Theo asked grinning wickedly. 

Draco elbowed his stomach roughly and Theo crouched down in pain. Hermione stood there not knowing what to do, "Ignore him." Blaise said both amused and stern. 

"Erm," Hermione said as her cheeks tinged pink and then directed her voice to Draco, "Why can't we just meet at the library?"

Draco opened his mouth and then closed it, clearly not having an answer, "You ask too many questions." He said shortly.

Hermione scowled, prick, she thought. 

"Whatever," She muttered and then quickly said goodbye again to Theo and Blaise and left with one last glare, directed to Draco. 

"Smooth." Theo said, gasping as he laughed both in glee and pain. 

"Fuck off." Draco mumbled.

Since when was he ever at a loss for words around a girl, never mind anybody in general. 

______________

Hermione walked towards the abandoned classroom that Malfoy had asked her to come to. She was still wearing her uniform, her shirt was untucked and the top two buttons had been unbuttoned and her hair was pulled into a ponytail with a few curls framing her face. 

As she walked in, she saw Malfoy leaning against the wall, his hands in his pockets. He looked like the poster boy for a devil that looked like a daydream. She shook her head of these thoughts.

"Granger," He greeted, "You took your time, yet again." He walked to a table which had his belongings on it and opened a book they required, which he borrowed from the library. 

She scoffed, "It's exactly six o'clock. You're just early."

He paused his movements, "Mmhm, guess I just couldn't wait."

Draco watched as her mouth fell open, "Excuse me?"

"What?" He asked innocently before smirking. 

"You're so annoying." She muttered. 

I know, he thought to himself. 

The two started working only stopping every once in awhile when they caught the others eye. 

"We should be able to make our first attempt by next week." Hermione said confident. Draco nodded, "I agree."

Hermione raised her eyebrows, "You agree with me?"

"Don't get too used to it." He replied drily. 

"Wouldn't dream of it."

He let out a low chuckle and her stomach fluttered. 

"What do you think your object will be?" She asked, not being able to stand the tension between them. 

He seemed shocked that she was actually conversing with him but he could tell that she was nervous, "I'm not sure, we don't really have the option to choose." He paused, "I think it might turn into a family heirloom of some sort." 

She nodded. "What about you?" He asked cautiously. It wasn't like they were forcing conversation but rather avoiding the topic of the previous night. 

"Same as you, I think it'll turn into something that's connected to me on a deeper level but it'll probably be something very unexpected because my patronus turned out to be something I didn't even think off."

Draco's eyebrows raised, "What's your patronus?" He asked curiously. 

"An otter." She said flushing a bit. 

Malfoy couldn't help but smile, amused. Hermione seeing this, huffed, "I'll have you know that otters are extremely smart creatures."

He chuckled again, "That makes sense."

"I'm being serious!"

"Me too," He said softly, "You are beyond intelligent."

Hermione stopped huffing at once, "Oh.''  
Did she have to say thank you? She didn't really expect him to say that....... at all. Her cheeks tinged pink and Draco hid a smile at her reaction. He mentally kicked himself, why are you acting so fucking soft? 

"What's your patronus?" She asked quietly. 

He stiffened, "I don't have one." He replied shortly. Hermione noticed the change in his tone and let it go, he was closing off again. It was both exhausting and confusing. 

Draco on the other hand, desperately wanted the conversation to end. How could he explain to her that by the time he started to learn the Patronus charm, which was this summer, he realized almost immediately that he required a happy memory.....and he didn't seem to have one anymore. 

They continued working in an uncomfortable silence, around half past seven, Hermione glanced at the clock, "Can we stop here for today? I need to get back before dinner. "

He glanced at her, she didn't seem like she wanted to get back to her friends. She started to put her books back into her bag.  
He nodded and then said, "Is Weasel still being an utter dick?"

She turned around from her movements, ready to reprimand him but then stopped as she saw that his eyes were genuine, she softly breathed in, "Yes. But it's just Ron being Ron."

He scoffed, "You don't need to make excuses for him, it's not like it's going to change my mind about him."

She rolled her eyes, "What's it to you?"

He stiffened, the atmosphere in the room went from borderline friendly-bickering to tense and uncomfortable, yet again. 

"No one deserves to be treated that way." He said, his voice low. 

"Ironic coming from you." She replied shortly. 

"I thought I explained myself last night." He said gritting his teeth. "Oh so now you want to talk about last night? I thought it was off limits." She said drily. 

She couldn't help it, frustration and confusion got the better of her. She didn't know how intense it was until he brought it up and then refused to give her more than one word answers. Fighting with him came so easily, it seemed to be both of their defense mechanisms. 

"Granger," He said still gritting his teeth, "I'm just saying that it isn't okay for him to treat you-"

"Stop doing that," Granger said hurt. Draco looked at her confusion, "Stop saying nice things to me and then act like a prick the next second. It isn't fair to me." She said angrily, her voice shaking at the end. 

Draco looked at her silently. She was right. She deserved better than that. 

"I should go." She said shortly and then turned on her feet and started to leave abruptly. 

"Granger wait!" Draco said. He cursed as she turned around. Did she have to look so disappointed, it felt like a pang to his heart. THEY WEREN'T EVEN FRIENDS.  
How could one look impact him so much. 

"What is it Malfoy?" She asked after a second of silence. 

"Meet me here again tomorrow, at the same time," Hermione's stomach plummeted, of course. That's all he wanted to say. Not a sorry, not an explanation. Nothing of that sort. She didn't respond, "Please?" He finished. 

Hermione looked up to his eyes in surprise at the vulnerability that his voice held. 

"Okay." She said softly. 

"Okay." He said. She turned and left and he sat on the table as the door closed shut. 

Its just until we finish this project, he told himself, he'll stay away from her after that. She was right, she didn't deserve to be confused by his unexplainable actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Let me know your thoughts by leaving a comment and a kudos :)  
> I love and appreciate you all so much xx  
> Take care and stay safe.


	16. Chapter 16

Draco walked into his dorm. Blaise and Theo were standing up, ready to go to the Great Hall for dinner. 

"Drakey, are you okay?" Theo asked as he saw Draco's trembling fingers. Malfoy shook his head. Blaise noticing, opened his arms and Draco not caring enough to pretend, fell into the embrace. It was normal for them to be this comfortable with each other. They were brothers. This summer had made them all the more appreciative of each other. 

"I don't know how much longer I can do this." He whispered. 

"Do what?" Theo asked, now next to them and rubbing his back. 

"Exist."

"Don't say that, Draco." Theo said aghast. 

Abruptly, Draco pulled away, "You both should go down." Draco said shortly. "I'll be okay." He said, brushing away their looks of concern. 

They tried to protest but the two left half-heartedly. They knew that he liked to be alone when he was feeling this low. They didn't like it but he was one stubborn bloke and it wasn't up for debate. 

He sat next to his bed and leaned against the wall. He could feel it coming down onto him. It was long overdue, he'd been pushing it away for the last couple of weeks. So many thoughts consumed him. His parents...... his beautiful, loving parents, who were only trying to keep him safe, the upcoming war, the summer which he just couldn't seem to escape and the horrific sights he was forced to witness, the death eaters in his home and Granger; The feelings he didn't understand and the fact that he hurt her.....not once but multiple times and he didn't know how to push her away, when all he wanted was to be around her. 

Tears dripped down his cheeks, it felt like a pair of heavy feet were stepping onto his chest. He could feel his heartbeat speed up. The voice in his brain screamed, "Death eater! Coward! She'll never even know that you tried to be good! Undeserving."

He pulled his knees to his chest. Sobs wracked his body and he found himself gasping for breath. 

'Oh my god, ' he thought, 'I'm going to die.' The logical part of his brain knew that he wasn't going to die but he still seemed to feel that way every time he'd have a panic attack. Of course, he didn't know what was happening to him, the magical world didn't really have much knowledge on mental health. He didn't understand what was happening to him. 

After a few more minutes, which seemed to last for hours, he pulled himself up, onto his bed and drew the curtains, exhausted. 

His body was sprawled across his bed, physically worn out by his emotions and within seconds, he fell asleep, his mind plagued with nightmares. 

Peace didn't seem to be in the books for Draco. 

________________

He woke up the next morning, still exhausted. He slept through the night but it wasn't a peaceful sleep. He felt worse than ever. He drew open the curtains that hung around his bed and he was met with the sight of Theo tying his laces. 

He looked up and gasped, "Draco! You look terrible."

"Thanks. That's nice to hear." He replied monotone. Blaise came over from his bed, "What's wrong?"

"Nothings wrong." He said quietly. 

"Draco what-"

"Nothing is wrong." Draco said firmly, cutting off Theo who was voicing his concern. 

"Let's go for breakfast." He said and walked out of their dorm, not waiting for them. 

As the three sat at their table, Draco remained silent. Theo and Blaise tried their best to get a word out of him but were left disappointed. Draco nibbled at a slice of bread, he skipped dinner last night but yet his appetite didn't seem to improve. 

"Three classes to go before I have potions in the last hour," He told himself, "I can get through this day."

He had either Blaise or Theo at his side in every one of his classes. They kept an eye on him, both concerned and anxious that he might just breakdown any moment. 

He skipped their mid day meal, not wanting to be surrounded by so many people. He hated being at home but here, he didn't have the privacy to let it out. If Theo and Blaise ever saw him in that state, they would- Well it wouldn't be good. 

He laid in his bed the entirety of his break, not having the will to get up. He however, tried to pull himself together for his last class of the day; Potions. 

His motivation was that he didn't want Snape reprimanding him for not acting "normal" and missing class. And a small part of him couldn't help but want to see Granger. He wanted to push her away so bad but there was something about her that he couldn't help but want. Maybe it was because her eyes seemed to ground him, but he didn't see a point in dwelling on it. Anyway, the sooner their assignment was over, the better it was for the both of them... well mostly her. 

He made his way to Potions, finding that both Theo and Blaise were already there and were in the middle of a discussion and they looked highly concerned. It didn't take a legilimens to figure out what the topic of their discussion was. 

He nodded his head at them in greeting and sat down, leaning on the back of his chair, exhausted. He stared out of the window, not wanting to catch anyone's attention if he could help it. 

Hermione walked in, unaware of the present situation and took her seat and smiled softly at the two boys who barely grimaced back. 

Confused, she turned her neck towards her partner and her eyes widened as she took in his pale skin. He turned his head to face her and she softly gasped at his blood shot eyes. What scared her was how lifeless his eyes seemed to be. She noticed the emptiness in his eyes when sixth year first started. 

But now, they looked lifeless. Devoid of all emotion. He immediately turned away from her and stared straight ahead. 

Her heart sank, he looked broken. 

He refused to look at her throughout their lesson, as the class ended, Hermione sat for a moment longer before opening her mouth, "Malfoy, are you-"

Malfoy cut her off, "I'll be there at six." He said monotonously. He got up and left and Hermione felt confusion wash over her. She was going to ask him it he was okay, not if he was going to come to do their assignment. Did he honestly think that she just wanted to make sure he would show up for Potions? Did he honestly think that's as far as she cared? Sure, they weren't friends but there was something else there. Sure, they never acknowledged it but- 

Oh. Maybe she was the only one who felt it, whatever 'it' was. 

Draco groaned as he fell on his bed, she looked at him in fear and he hated that. He wouldn't ever hurt her. 

Theo and Blaise walked into their dorm and stood at the foot of his bed, "Drakey," Theo whispered, "You need to eat something."

"I'm not hungry." Draco replied, his voice muffled. 

"Draco you need to eat-"

"No, I'm tired," He said, weary, "Wake me up at half-past five, please." 

"Do you really think you should be seeing Hermione like this?" Theo asked cautiously. It was said from a place of concern for both of them. He knew their tempers when it came to each other and he also knew that both of them were sensitive and he didn't want either of them blowing up at each other right now. 

"The quicker we finish, the better." He said groggily. 

"What are you talking about?" Blaise asked confused, "The Potions assignment? But why?"

"She hates me." Draco whispered, completely worn out. 

"No she doesn't." Blaise said firmly. But Draco had passed out, his messy sleep schedule finally catching up to him. 

"She doesn't hate him." Blaise repeated. 

"I know." Theo said quietly. 

"Can we work here instead of the library? Just so that we can keep an eye on him."

Theo nodded at once, "I'll run to the library and get the books we need."

Theo quickly made his way to the library, his head filled with worry. He checked out the books he needed. As he was leaving, a head of brown curls approached his way. 

"Hermione," He said, trying to smile, "What are you doing here?"

"Theo," She said in greeting, "I'm just getting a book I need- well a book that Malfoy and I need for Potions." 

"Oh right," Theo said, grimacing as he remembered. 

Both of them went silent for a moment and Hermione broke it, "Is-is Malfoy okay?"

Theo usually would've teased her about her concern for him but he couldn't bring himself to do so this time, "He's," He paused, "Well it isn't my place to say." He said rather apologetic. 

Hermione nodded, biting her lip. "I get it."

"Hermione, just go a little easy on him today, I know he can sometimes be a stubborn prat and can say the wrong thing sometimes but-" Theo paused and then continued very frazzled, "Just for today-please,he hasn't eaten or slept and I-" Theo stopped.Oh he probably shouldn't have said that to her. But Hermione cut him off, "Theo," She said comfortingly, "I understand, okay?"

Well actually she didn't understand, she didn't why he was feeling this way and he obviously wouldn't tell her but it didn't matter in the moment. His wellness was the only thing that seemed to matter right then and there. She didn't know why she was so concerned about him either. But she was and there was no denying it. 

She bid goodbye to Theo after patting his back comfortingly, it was strange seeing Theo so worried, he was usually always cherry and bubbly. 

She suddenly stopped in her step, an idea flashing in her head and without thinking twice, she turned around and went towards the kitchen. 

As she entered, she saw multiple house elves washing dishes, stirring pots and she had to push away her protests that rose to her lips. 

S.P.E.W could come later. 

She heard a gasp, "Miss Hermione!" A high voice said excitedly, "Dobby! How wonderful to see you again." Hermione said as she caught sight of the house elf. 

"Miss is saying it is wonderful to see me! What an honour from Harry Potter's best friend." He said bowing deeply, his voice trembling. 

"Dobby," Hermione said embarrassed, "I've told you, you can call me Hermione, there's no need to call me miss."

Dobby's wrinkly skin, seemed to turn pink with happiness and disbelief and he bowed again. 

"Um Dobby, I actually wanted to ask you for a favour, if that's okay?"

"Of course Miss! Anything for Harry Potter's best friend." Hermione chuckled awkwardly, "Er, would it be okay if I could have something to eat around half-past five? I know there's always a lot of excess food from lunch, I'll come here to collect it and I'll return all the dishes too." She asked, rushing her words. 

Dobby looked at her questioningly, "Is Miss hungry?"

"Um no no, it isn't for me, it's for-" She stopped remembering that Dobby used to 'work' for the Malfoys, "Well its for a friend."

Friend? Yeah she wasn't too sure about that. 

He nodded his little head vigorously, "Anything for you, Miss. I will make sure it is ready for you, Miss." 

"Thank you so much Dobby, I owe you."

Dobby gasped, "Miss owes me?" Hermione was half scared he would start hitting his head against the wall that she started to retract her words, "Dobby don't worry about it! It's just my way of saying thank you."

Dobby stopped choking at her words and looked at her curiously. He bowed, "Your thank you is enough Miss."

Hermione sighed out of relief and made her way back to her dorm after saying goodbye to Dobby. 

She knew there was a high chance that Malfoy would look at her like she was insane, the thought itself made her feel a rush of embarrassment but Hermione didn't care enough. 

She didn't like the way she felt when she saw how lifeless he looked in class and all she wanted was to make him feel even the tiniest bit better. 

"You are so ridiculous sometimes," Hermione told herself as she climbed up the stairs, "So ridiculous and so impulsively stupid."

_____________

It was two minutes to six and Hermione was rethinking all her life decisions. A plate of food floated in her hand and a cup of water in the other hand. She felt glued to spot. "I look absolutely mental." She thought to herself as she stood outside the classroom. 

She took a deep breath before entering the classroom. Malfoy sat on a chair, his head buried on his arms that were resting on the table. His head rose as he heard her coming in. 

He stared at her as she stood in the doorway in black leggings and an oversized green jumper, her curls loose over shoulders. 

And why on earth did she have a whole plate of food floating next to her. The food smelt so good and his stomach ached out of hunger, he didn't even realize how hungry he was. 

"Hi," She said breathless, she stared at him for a second before saying, "This is for you." She said quickly and placed the plate in front of him. 

"What?" He asked, his mouth dropping open. Her cheeks grew pinker by the second, "I-I know you didn't eat and well I don't know I just uh-" She stopped talking and rubbed her forehead in horror. This is so embarrassing. 

She put the cup of water down on his table and he stared up at her speechless. 

"You brought me food?" He asked softly. 

"Mmhm." She mumbled as she fiddled with her fingers. 

"But why?" He asked, his lips apart and his eyes wide. 

She shrugged, "I don't know. I didn't want you to be hungry." What the fuck are you saying Hermione? If she could kick herself, she would. 

She blushed and he smiled beside himself, "You didn't want me to be hungry?"

Hermione huffed but secretly happy when she saw the flash of amusement across his face, "Malfoy, will you shut up and eat."

He looked down at the plate and Hermione softened and pushed the plate towards him, "Please?"

How could he say no to that? How could anyone say no to her? 

He nodded and started to eat. Hermione let out a satisfied and then opened her book and then began to read.

Draco felt a strange rush of happiness wash over him. He ate and once he finished, Granger glanced at him and vanished both the plate and the cup of water back to the kitchen using the charm that Dobby taught her. 

"Granger?" He called out to her. She looked at him in question, happy to see more colour in his skin already.

"Yes?"

"Why did you do this for me?" He asked softly. 

Draco noticed how flustered she seemed to get, "I told you, I just wanted to-look I don't know, I just wanted to help, I guess."

No one could help him. He was in too deep. 

But he nodded in thought and watched her. Her cheeks were tinged pink and she was biting her lip nervously. 

He just wanted to press her against a wall and kiss her and tell her how angelic she was but he couldn't. 

"Thank you." He said, clearing his throat. 

He moved his saddle bag and put it on the table behind him. "Sit with me?" He asked quietly. 

It seemed ridiculous now, that they sat two tables away from each other in an empty classroom. 

She looked at him with wide eyes. His stomach stirred, oh for Merlin's sake, he thought to himself, Draco Malfoy does not get shy or nervous. 

She slid into the seat next to him. The two started to work and for the next twenty minutes they focused on the assignment in front of them, only stealing glances every now and then. 

Draco felt a bit better. His stomach was warm and wasn't in pain any longer. But it was the fact that Granger did this for him that made him feel the slightest bit hopeful. Hopeful for what? He didn't know. 

He pushed the book away and rubbed his eyes to take a break. Granger stopped too and glanced at him for a second. 

He definitely didn't look as peaky, thank god for that, she thought to herself. His eyes were still red rimmed and despite knowing better, she opened her mouth to speak.

"Malfoy?"

He looked at her expectantly, "Yes?"

"Can I ask you something?"

He paused and looked her over, "Sure." He said nervously. 

"Are you-you not well?"

He smiled a little amused, she genuinely thought he was sick, he couldn't blame her, he looked beyond terrible today morning. 

"I'm not sick, Granger." He said gently. 

Well not physically at least. 

She bit her lip, "But-are you okay?" She asked cautiously. She didn't know how far was too far.

He opened his mouth to say yes but couldn't bring himself to. She looked at him with such genuine concern, he couldn't bring himself to lie to her.

He shrugged, "No not really." He said quietly. 

She looked at him, despite being obviously in pain, he was so beautiful. His broad shoulders seemed to be carrying the weight of the world. 

Her mother always told her that she cared too much but sometimes people deserved it. Sometimes people needed it. 

"Do you maybe want to talk about it?" She asked nervously.

Malfoy raised an eyebrow at her. He definitely didn't expect her to say that. His brain screamed at him, "YOU AREN'T EVEN FRIENDS!" 

But he looked at her, her curls framing her face, her lips between her teeth, cautiously, her brown eyes filled with sincerity and hope. And just like that, he opened his mouth to speak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Just to be clear(this isn't a spoiler) this fic is a slow burn so don't expect much next chapter hehe xx. Anyway, let me know your thoughts by leaving a comment and a kudos, I would really appreciate it. Love you xx


	17. Chapter 17

"I can't." Draco said harshly. 

"Oh." Granger replied, her face falling at his tone not knowing his distaste was for himself and not her. 

He immediately backtracked, "No-no, I meant, I wish I could," He paused, "But I can't." He said, his voice getting quiet.  
Hermione nodded and looked back at the books in front of her in defeat. 

They were quiet for a moment and then Draco spoke, "I-I can't explain it," He paused, "Sometimes it feels like there are eight people standing on my chest." He whispered, Hermione froze and he continued, "It's like my lungs are constricted of all air and at the same are so full from it. Almost swollen." He chuckled, "It doesn't really make sense, I know, it doesn't make sense to me either."

She looked at him and took him in. This all sounded familiar but she wasn't sure.

"Malfoy-"

He buried his head is his hands, "I shouldn't have said that."

Hermione spoke, her voice shaky, "Does it feel like your thoughts take control of you?"

Malfoy looked up at her, "Just like that." He breathed out. 

"Does it feel like your gasping for breath even though nothing is choking you?"

He nodded almost frantically.

"Do you know what anxiety is, Malfoy?" Hermione asked cautiously. 

The condition of feeling anxious? Malfoy thought to himself and shrugged in response. 

"Muggles call it a panic attack," She said slowly, "I-I think it sounds like that is what you're experiencing."

He paused, not knowing what to say. He felt like if he opened his mouth again, too much would spill out. 

"Do you mind if I ask how often you have them?" She said softly. 

Draco let out a breathy laugh, "More often than I would like."

Hermione wanted to kiss his helplessness away. 

"Can I teach you something?" She asked . 

Draco looked at her quizzically. She wanted to teach him something right now....when they were in the middle of this conversation? 

She looked too soft and too earnest for him to say no, so he nodded yes. 

"It's called the 5-4-3-2-1 method, I learnt it from- well someone taught it to me," She said slowly so as to be clear. 

"The next time you feel overwhelmed and like it's going to happen again, I want you to sit down. Get your thoughts under control." She paused as he looked at her, still confused. 

"The idea is to make sure you're in control of your senses," She cleared her throat, "Find five things you can see, four  
that you can hear, three that you can feel, two that you can smell and finally one you can taste."

His lips murmured as he repeated what she just said. Malfoy was known as the Slytherin 'bad boy' but in the moment, he looked so innocent as his mouth fluttered to make sure he remembered the method. 

"Did you get it?" She asked gently. 

He nodded, biting his cheek. This was possibly the longest civil conversation they've ever had. And also how did she know this? 

"Why are you helping me Granger?"

She breathed in, not this again. 

"Because I want to, Malfoy. And also I'm guessing Theo and Blaise don't know?"

Draco shook his head. 

"No one deserves to deal with this alone."

He stared at her, there was truly no one else like her. 

"Thank you." He whispered, swallowing his pride. 

She smiled softly in reply. 

"Granger, how do you know this?" He asked curiously. Hermione froze, she looked at him, not sure what to say. 

He looked back at her and tousled his hair expectantly. She took in a deep breath, somehow she ignored her brain telling her to pull the brakes and not say anything more. 

But she ignored it. If this could help him then so be it. 

"When I was younger, I used to go to muggle school and- well there was an incident which involved my magic taking control of me." She stopped and looked at him. Would he use this as ammunition to bully her?

No, she took one look at his grey eyes which had just the slightest bit of life in them and continued, " My magic accidentally started a fire during a thunderstorm because of the lightening."

His mouth fell open, "You set yourself on fire?" His tone wasn't mocking but rather concerned.

She flushed and nodded, "I obviously had no idea I was a witch so I couldn't do anything about it. There was a storm outside and I was stuck outside by myself."

"Why wasn't there anyone else?" He asked, shocked at how calm she was about it. 

"No one noticed," She said shrugging. 

"Don't muggles have teachers!" He exclaimed. 

"Well yes, but no one noticed I was missing from class."

His lips apart, he started at her. Surely muggles couldn't be that incompetent. 

"Malfoy, I was the girl who could hover things in the air. No one noticed if the freak was missing and if they did they didn't care enough."

"Don't call yourself that." He said harshly. 

She quirked an eye brow at him, "Oh because you care?"

"Yes." He answered shortly. 

Oh, well she didn't expect that. 

"So where does this method come into play?"

"Well after, I wasn't permanently hurt, at least physically," She said darkly, "But my parents obviously pulled me out of school and I was homeschooled for the next couple of years. I think a lot of my anxiety stemmed from there but it just got progressively worse and this doctor- I meant healer you could say, taught me this method." She said in a rush. 

How could she explain what a therapist was to Malfoy? Did they even have therapists in the Wizarding world? 

"It's stupid," She said, "I know."

"It isn't stupid Granger. Hell if I didn't know about magic and I set myself on fire when I was child, I would be scarred for life too."

She turned pink, Malfoy being gentle with her somehow made her feel tingly all over. 

"I have more questions." He said, pulling his knees close to his chest. 

"Who asks too many questions now?" Draco huffed but he heard the laughter in her voice. 

"Why were you outside by yourself in the first place?"

Hermione sobered up immediately, Malfoy noticed the change in her stance and kicked himself, did he cross a line? But he didn't mean to. 

"We were in recess, which is basically a break from classes. We were in the playground and it ended early because of the rain and I guess some of them decided it would be a good idea to lock me out." She said shrugging. She wasn't sure why she was so embarrassed. Did it make her look weak? Because she wasn't. At least she tried her best not to be. 

"What a bunch of arseholes." Draco said his voice furious. 

Hermione giggled besides herself, "Malfoy they were a bunch of nine year olds."

"Not an excuse!" He said. 

"Thank you for telling me Granger," He said softly, changing tones, "But why did you?"

She shrugged, "Did it help you understand?" He nodded, "Then that's why." She continued, trying her best to not let her nervousness show. 

"But you don't know anything about me. About why I'm like this." He said, struggling to understand where she was coming from. 

"I don't need to." 

Oh but you do, Granger. You just don't know it yet, he thought to himself. 

He knew nothing had changed but at the same time he felt lighter, brighter and God forbid, he felt hopeful. 

He smirked, "Does this make us friends, Granger?"

Her eyes drifted across his broad shoulders, and she swallowed the uncertainty in her throat, "Depends, are you going to give me a talk on why we can't talk and get all cold with me?"

His mouth fell open, she was actually joking around with him. Her pink lips glossed as the edges lifted up slightly. 

He leaned forward, his lips near her ear, he didn't like letting her win, "Careful there, Granger." He whispered. 

She softly gasped as she heard his voice which sent shivers down her body coming to her senses she lightly shoved his shoulders back, trying to keep her voice steady "Prat." She said, rolling her eyes at him. 

He smirked again and she flipped him off. His mouth fell open at the gesture and Hermione giggled at his expression, her fingers covering her mouth. 

"Acquaintances?" Draco said, swallowing his feelings. 

"Acquaintances." She agreed. 

The two continued their work in a comfortable silence, both of their heads spinning with questions, answers, feelings, emotions and thoughts. 

He would take acquaintances over anything, hell he would take enemies, just as long as he was the one making her giggle like that, Draco thought to himself. 

'I sound like a fucking idiot,' he told himself, 'but at the same, I really don't fucking care.' He bit his cheek to stop himself from smiling at the thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyy, okay first off, I'm sorry for not updating in two weeks😳, there's a lot going on right now but still, I apologize xx. I'll be super busy the next two months but I will be updating at LEAST once in two weeks, I promise. I'm not going anywhere until this book is over(which will be a loong time). Thank you for the support.  
> Super fluffly chapter but that's okay hehe, also this method is very helpful and it works! So if you or anyone else suffers from anxiety, this method can really help control how extreme it is. If you enjoyed this chapter, please leave a kudos and a comment!  
> Take care and stay safe xx


	18. Chapter 18

"You're not trying hard enough!" Snape bellowed at Draco as he succeeded once again in entering the younger boys mind. 

Draco clenched his fists in anger and exhaustion. "I'm trying." He gritted out. "I did it earlier, you can't keep poking around my mind multiple times and not expect it to give out."

"The Dark Lord will try, time and time again, you giving up because you're, quote unquote tired is not an excuse!"  
Snape muttered. 

Draco growled, "Do you have any idea how hard it is?"

"I'm teaching you, what do you think?" Snape asked almost mockingly. 

Draco had the urge to strangle his godfather. Tough love was an understatement when it came from him. 

"I'm done with this." Draco said as he got up from the floor that he was crouching over earlier in pain. 

"Draco stop!" Snape said, groaning as Draco dusted his clothes, "Draco stop." Malfoy walked towards the door , "Draconis, STOP!" Draco spun around on his heel, "What do you want now?!"

"I want you to listen Draco! I cannot stress how crucial this situation is."

Draco laughed darkly, "And you think I don't know that?"

"Then why isn't it motivating you! If the Dark Lord even gets a sniff of your betrayal, he will probe your mind and keep probing until he knows EVERYTHING. And the first thing he will do is kill everyone and anyone that is close to you. Do you understand that?" Snape yelled, his voice hoarse. 

Draco felt his stomach drop. Embarrassed over how easily Snape's words filled him with fear, he turned away from Snape. The older man saw his stance and stopped talking. Draco wasn't the one to show his emotions to anyone. Ever. Except for Theo and Blaise. But even that was rare. 

Snape's intention wasn't to hurt him, he just wanted to keep him safe. 

"Drac-"

"I understand," Draco muttered, cutting him off, "But I don't think I'll be any good today. I'll do better tomorrow. I promise." He said, tiredly and quietly and walked out the door. 

Draco left his godfather rooted to the spot in the Potions classroom in defeat. He found himself walking down an empty corridor, and his feet seemed to take over his body. He wasn't sure where he was going.

What if Voldemort found out? What would happen to his parents? His best friends? Granger. Fuck. He wanted to scream, this is why he SHOULD push everyone away. He was dangerous to even associate with. 

His feet finally came to a stop and he leaned against the wall and he slid down to the ground. "Remember what Granger said, remember what Granger said," He said to himself, "Breathe, just breathe."  
He breathed in deeply and then breathed out. He continued to do for the next three minutes. 

He heard Grangers voice in his head telling him to calm down. And to look, to hear, to touch, to smell and to taste. 

It was her soothing voice that echoed is his brain that finally made his head stop spinning, his heart stop beating so erratically and his breathing to slow down. 

Oh my god, he thought, ten minutes later as he stared at his hands which weren't shaking anymore. It actually helped.

Sure it still happened, but for the first time in what feels like forever, he felt like he was more or less in control of his own body and his emotions. 

He got up on weak knees and shakily walked back to the Slytherin common room. Composing himself, he walked in. 

"Draco!" A voice exclaimed. 

He turned away from the stairs leading to the boys dorms to see a short haired girl who's dark hair cut off at her chin sharply. 

"Pansy." He greeted quietly. 

"Come sit with us." She said as she moved her hand to signal at the other two girls who sat with her.

Draco barely grimaced at the two girls and they giggled in response. "I would," He said bowing his head slightly at the girls cordially, "But I'm going to be leaving again soon."

"Where do you keep disappearing of too? We barely ever see you." Pansy asked, her eyes narrowed. 

Draco truly didn't know what would be worse, Pansy figuring out his betrayal or Pansy finding out he was spending time, Potions related, but time nonetheless with Granger. 

Before he could answer, Theo's voice called out from above them, "Draco? Is that you? Get your arse up here right now."

Draco politely nodded in goodbye before making no effort to hide his haste to leave to his dorm. 

He entered the room, "What happened?" He asked Theo. 

Theo fell backwards onto his bed, "Oh nothing, I heard your voice and I could tell you would rather be anywhere but there."

Draco rolled his eyes, "You were right. Pansy wasn't very subtle about trying to get me with one of the girls. Always meddling , that one."

Theo snorted, "It's nothing new. Plus, you didn't seem to have a problem with it in the past."

Draco rolled his eyes, "I would go along with it, it didn't mean anything."

Blaise piped up, "What changed?" He asked, his smirk evident. 

Draco glared at him, "Nothing. I clearly have a lot going on this year."

"Oh of course," Blaise said smirking, "I'm sure there's no other reason."

Draco looked at him threateningly but Theo guffawed as he caught on. 

"I don't know what you're referring to." Draco said haughtily. 

Blaise decided against dignifying that with a response. 

Draco grabbed his satchel, "I'm going to go for Potions."

"Ah, there it is. The reason our playboy no longer has any interest in other girls."

Draco gritted his teeth, "Yes, Potions is very attractive and desirable."

Theo joined on, "Oh but Drakey, I think he's talking about a certain curly haired girl."

Draco glared at his two roommates, "Don't push it."

Theo laughed again, "Drakey, you know we're just joking around. We love Hermione."

"Who said anything about Her-Granger?" Draco asked, faking his surprise. 

"Give it up, mate." Blaise said getting up and patting his back. 

Draco shrugged him off, he hated how well his friends could read him. 

"But Theo's right, Hermione's great."

"Absolutely gorgeous too." Theo said continuing from Blaise's words. 

Draco visibly stiffened at Theo's words, his eyes unconsciously darkened and narrowed at his friend. 

"As a friend, in a very respectful way." Theo said, taking a step back. Of course he knew that Draco wouldn't hurt him, but he wasn't willing to take the chance. 

Blaise laughed loudly, "Careful there Theo."

Draco stopped glaring and rolled his eyes and bid the two goodbye. 

Their teasing wouldn't ever end. He also knew that he wouldn't win this one. 

He made his way to their classroom.

'Their', he did like the sound of that. It was something that only the two of them shared.

That's the closest you'll ever go to sharing anything together, he mused. 

Feelings aren't worth the risk, is what he kept telling himself. 

Opening the door, he found himself already in her presence. She got there early, he thought. 

He cleared his throat, "Granger, I must say, your punctuality is getting better."

She looked up and rolled her eyes at his words, "Hello to you too Malfoy."

He couldn't help but smile and she smiled back softly, a little taken aback at how genuine his smile was. 

He automatically found himself sitting next to her, in a classroom full of empty seats, but she didn't notice and even if she did, she didn't seem to care, he mused. 

They began to work quietly. Well Hermione worked and Draco found himself zoning out while looking at her, his face in his hand,while his elbow rested on the table. She however didn't seem to notice, her eyes drawn to the book in front of her. 

".... next week?" Her voice said, interrupting his train of thoughts. 

"Hmm?"

"I was saying that we can try to make our first attempt next week." She said, her brown eyes , looking at him. 

"Okay." He said simply, he couldn't bring himself to look away from her. 

Hermione felt her face heat up, "Malfoy can you stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?" He asked smirking. 

"Malfoy." She said warningly. 

"What?" He asked again. 

She sighed, "I'm trying to concentrate."

"Then concentrate."

She sighed again, trying not to smile, "Write. The faster we finish the better for both of us."

His playful demeanor fell, of course she wanted to get this over with. She noticed and opened her mouth, "That's not what I-"

He interrupted her, "It's fine."

The two were silent for a minute and Hermione spoke, "That wasn't what I meant Malfoy. You know that, right?"

"No actually." He said suddenly. 

"Well you should," She said bluntly, "We both know that things aren't the same between us as compared to before we were assigned as partners." She stopped and bit her lip. She made is sound as if they had something between them. All she wanted to explain was that they were no longer hateful of each other. She wasn't even sure if they ever were. 

Draco's smirk returned, forgetting his concerns. She always did that, she made him forget.

"Oh do to tell me more, Granger. I would love to know how things have changed between us." His voice dropping low. 

Her mouth dropped open as the pink tinge on her cheeks returned, was he flirting with her? No, he was just joking around, she thought. 

She narrowed her eyes at him, "I meant," She huffed, "That you aren't as bad as I thought."

He let out a triumphant sigh and she continued, "You're still annoying and snarky," he scoffed at her, "And just generally pissing off,"

She stopped and he raised an eyebrow at her, "But you aren't bad." She said simply. 

He bit his cheek, well he simply wanted to press her against a wall and show her just how good she was. 

But he nodded in response. 

The two continued to work and Hermione's mind travelled back to the conversation they had a few days ago. She never expected herself to open up to Malfoy of all people. It was insane but at the same time, she felt so very comforted. 

It confused her to say the least. 

Draco as if reading her mind suddenly let out an, "Oh!"

"Yes?"

"I wanted to tell you....." He stopped and watched as she nodded as if to tell him to continue, "Your method Granger," He said quietly, "It helped."

Her face broke out in a bright smile, "It did?"

He nodded, unable to stop himself from smiling back gently at her. 

He didn't deserve to be smiled at, like that. Her excitement just made him want to pull her close. 

The ding off the clock made them both jump, "Same time tomorrow?" He asked, clearing his throat. 

"Mmhm," She replied. Both of them stood up, facing each other.

Their words were clearly ending their 'study session' but neither of them made an effort to walk away. 

Her eyes travelled down from his eyes, to his pale skin and pinkish lips. 

Draco watched her eyes rake over his face, fuck, he'd never wanted anybody more. 

Stop, stop, just walk away, his brain told him. "Thank you again. For helping, I mean."

Feeling bold, she took a step closer to him and found herself inches away from his face, "You really don't need to keep thanking me." She said quietly. 

He shook his head of all things reckless, "You should go Granger."

She felt disappointment in her stomach but she really didn't know why she was disappointed. She nodded and turned away, and took a single step. 

Before she could take another one, Draco found his arm reaching out and pulling her back, by her waist. 

Their faces now closer than ever, he cursed and let go of her waist, "Sorry." He said sheepishly. 

Getting over her initial shock, she chuckled, her laughed coming over breathy, "Do you even know why you're apologizing? Because I don't."

Beside himself, he laughed and shook his head, sheepish. 

She giggled, "You're silly." The childish insult made him smirk, that was one word he'd never heard her call him. It sounded almost endearing from her lips. 

Their laughs subsided and Draco spoke, "You should go." He repeated. 

She rolled her eyes, "I was until you pulled me back, remember?"

He felt his face heat up, oh yeah. 

"I would walk you back to your tower," He paused, "If I could, I would."  
He mentally cursed at his words. She's right you're silly and a fucking fool. What was that even supposed to mean, you idiot, he thought to himself. 

Hermione on the other hand, to his surprise, placed her hand gently on his cheek, "I know."

With one last small glance, she left the classroom. 

There was that....she somehow understood all the words he failed to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't tell if I hate or love this chapter. Either way, it's a lot more fluffy than I would like. Eh. It gets angsty so enjoy it while it lasts lmao.  
> Let me know your thoughts in the comments and leave a kudos if you enjoyed it.  
> Take care and stay safe xx


	19. Chapter 19

Draco rubbed his eyes, exhausted as he listened to Snape tell him about the terrifying events that continued to occur at the place he once called home; Malfoy Manor. 

"Is there anything of value to tell me, or are you literally just trying to scare me?" Draco asked darkly. 

"That isn't my intention Draconis," Snape said just as exhausted, "Professor Dumbledore doesn't want me to tell you about what is happening back at your house, he thinks it'll distract you from your lessons," Snape said referring to the lessons on legilimens, "but I think it'll help motivate you." 

Draco chuckled darkly, "Oh yes, I'm feeling so motivated right now."

"Draco-"

"Fine sorry," He said half-heartedly, "Are my parents okay?"

"They're fine, the dark Lord seems to acknowledge the fact that he's in THEIR home right now," Draco nodded, relieved, "However that will not be the case if he ever finds out about the betrayal." Draco nodded, the exhausted look coming back into his eyes. 

"Draco you need to understand that I'm just trying to help you." Snape said, his voice coming out tired. 

Draco looked at his godfather, he suddenly seemed to age by a decade, the grey strands of hair stood out and the tired wrinkles of his countenance seemed to deepen. The dark circles under his eyes gave off that he was just as worn-out as Draco. 

The war leaves no one behind, thought Draco and he outwardly spoke, "I understand. You don't need to- well you shouldn't worry so much, my legilimens has improved, I'll keep practising, and our information on the attack seems to double every week. I think-no I know it'll be fine." He said, his voice shaky but reassuring. 

Snape looked at him in surprise, "You seem to be a lot more positive suddenly, is there any specific reason for that?"

Draco opened his mouth , closed it again and then shrugged. Snape forgetting his moody and dark persona, leaned forward, "Draco is there something going on with you and Miss Granger?" He asked, straightforwardly . 

Malfoy's eyebrows shot up and he sat up straight, "No. Why would you even ask me that?" His voice trying to sound defensive but failing. 

"Draco I have known you since you were a baby, don't even try lying to me. If there is something going on, I need to know, this would change a lot-"

"How?" Draco asked unable to stop himself from asking, even though he very well knew this answer. 

"Because it would put her at risk, and Miss Granger doesn't know about your family's change of sides- does she?" Snape asked suddenly, aghast. 

Draco sighed at his words, frustrated and disappointed, "She doesn't, of course she doesn't. And you needn't worry about anything, we're- well we're frie-aquaintances, whatever it doesn't matter, point is, she doesn't know and there's nothing going so." He paused and clenched his fists, she doesn't know, she doesn't know he's on her side, she doesn't know he's good, or at least he's trying to be-

Snape's voice interrupted his train of thoughts, "Draconis," He said hesitantly, a strange thing for Snape because being blunt was in his nature, "Are you sure there isn't anything else regarding Miss Granger?"

Draco wanted nothing more than to get up and punch a hole through the wall, she made him want to do insane things, sometimes good, sometimes bad. 

"Draco?" Snape asked him again, this time more sternly. 

Draco struggled to find his voice, "I-I care about her. I don't know what that means or how this happened or when it started but I do... I'm not stupid, I won't do anything foolish that'll make her an even bigger liability-" He stopped and had to take a breath, his heart was beating against his ribcage in an all too familiar speed of panic. 

Snape interrupted him and placed his hand on his shoulder, "Thank you for telling me-" He stopped. 

"It was very brave of you Draco, and moreover, it is selfless of you to put her safety over your happiness." Snape said gruffly. His voice holding just the slightest bit of emotion. 

Malfoy's eyes widened and wordlessly nodded, Snape cleared his throat and as Draco got up to leave his quarters, his voice made him pause, "If any point your mind changes or once all this is over, tell her. If there's anything I've learnt from past experiences, life is too short and too fragile."

_________________________________

Snape's words stuck in his head for the rest of the day, 'brave' he wouldn't ever use those words to describe himself. Stupid, yes. Cowardly, yes. But brave? And selfless? No, he was doing her a favour. At least he thought he was.

She couldn't ever look at him like that, it didn't matter how much he wanted it. As long as she could look at him without hatred in her eyes, it would do for him. 

Walking into their classroom that evening, Draco watched as Hermione looked up from the textbook in front of her and smiled at him softly, but he noticed how her smile didn't seem to reach her eyes. 

Hermione felt herself unconsciously light up as she saw Malfoy walking in. He seemed to be getting more sleep but his eyes still held so much pain. It wasn't her place to ask him where this pain come from. So she didn't. It wasn't her place to comfort him. But she wanted to. 

He raked his fingers through his hair and smiled softly at her. Today had been a little worse than usual for Hermione. Ron, more or less suggested as she brought up being busy in the evening because of Potions, that the she was a "traitor" and that she had "hidden agendas" for meeting Malfoy. Those were his exact words. 

Whether he was pissed off or jealous that she wasn't spending enough time with him and Harry, implying she was just desperate to shag Malfoy, took it a little too far. Not only was it none of his business, it also wasn't his place to imply that she was a slag. It wasn't anyone's business for that matter.

It was just the two of them today, do he had let his mouth run a little more and once she finally had enough of pretending his words didn't hurt her, she had gotten up to leave. Ron's hand had gone to stop her and Hermione remembering glanced down at her wrist which was left bruised. He obviously let go almost immediately when she had cried out that he was hurting her but that didn't help the temporary damage left on her skin. 

He apologized shortly and stormed out after that. She somehow had calmed herself enough to make herself look more or less at ease as she met with Malfoy. 

Just now, she pulled her sleeve down, she didn't need any more of an uproar for today. 

Draco took his place next to her. "How are you?" He asked softly as his eyes raked over her smooth skin. She shrugged, "I'm good." The lie coming out easier than she expected. Guess she was just used to it. 

He furrowed his eyebrows, either she was a terrible liar or he could just see right through her. The latter was the fact of the matter. 

She made no further effort to continue the conversation so Malfoy, confused, continued working on their Potion. She went around him to the table next to them and took out a vial from her satchel. 

He watched as she added it to their potion whilst trying so hard not to look at him. 'Did I do something wrong?' thought Draco dreading the idea in itself. 

"Granger?" He called out softly. 

Fuck, does he have to sound that enticing every time he opened his mouth? 

"Yes?" She asked, still not looking at him. She kept her eyes on the potion as she mixed it, "Granger." He said again and when she didn't respond, he wrapped his arm around her waist and turned her around to face him before hurriedly removing his arm from her body.

She huffed softly, "Malfoy!" 

"Granger," He said again, "What's wrong?"

She took a step back from him, the heat radiating from his body was almost too much for her to handle. "Nothing." She whispered, her voice dropping. 

Against his better judgement, he placed his finger on her cheek and traced his way to her chin and lifted it up so that she met his eyes, "Granger, don't lie to me please." His puppy eyes coming into play. 

Hermione stared into his grey eyes, he looked like an angel. She half expected wings to come out of nowhere, he was angelic. 

"That's not fair." She whispered. 

"What isn't fair?"

"You can't just use that against me."

"Use what?" He asked half smirking, this time. 

"That thing you're doing with your eyes, it's distracting." She said softly. His eyes were trained to her lips as they fluttered. 

"This is the second time you've called me distracting Granger, you better be careful before I think you're dropping hints."

This time she smiled almost teasingly, "Or what?"

He felt his breath hitch and pulled his head back, "Stop changing the subject," He huffed, "Please tell me what's wrong, or at least tell me if you're okay."

Hermione opened her mouth but Draco interrupted her, "And don't even think about asking me why I care because I just do." He said shortly. 

Her face fell, "It's just Ron being Ron."

Draco groaned, "What did that red headed dick do this time?"

"Malfoy!" She chastised. 

He just folded his arms and looked at her expectantly, he didn't want to push her but he did feel the need to protect her. Although he knew she was more than capable of taking care of herself. 

She opened her mouth and shut it immediately, she shouldn't be embarrassed because not only was whatever Ron said to her false, it was also not her fault, so there's nothing she should be embarrassed about. 

"He well, it's not a big deal, he lost his temper and said something-"

"What'd he say?" Malfoy demanded. 

"He implied that there's another reason I'm meeting you."

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "Like what?"

She looked at him, was he being serious right now? Did he actually not understand?

"Does he think we're friends because that isn't fal-"

"Malfoy," She groaned, did she have to spell it out for him, "For Merlin's sake he implied I was only meeting you to shag you because apparently that's all I-" As soon as she stopped and regretted it. She just wanted to sink through the ground. 

Draco's mouth fell open and then it shut and hardened, "How dare he." He gritted out. 

"How dare he what?" Asked Hermione nervously at his clenched fists. 

"How dare he treat you with such disrespect."

Hermione nervously twisted her fingers. 

"Did he say anything else?" He asked or rather demanded. Hermione shook her head. She glanced at her wrist but bit her tongue, absolutely no way was she telling Malfoy about that. He looked ready to explode already. There was no way she would be adding more fuel to the fire. 

Unfortunately for her, it was too late. His eyes followed hers and he found his hand reaching for her sleeve. He got ready to pull it up but then stopped and stepped away. 

"No, if there is something else then YOU tell me or show me. I'm not going to force you. I don't want you to be scared of me, okay?" He said gently. 

How could she not trust him? 

She hesitated and then pulled up her sleeve and Malfoy saw red, he found himself taking in a sharp breath. Her small wrist was bruised red with hints of purple coming in. 

"Hermione, tell me that Weasley didn't do that." He said, trying to sound calm. He called her Hermione, not Granger.... Hermione. 

"I would but you told me not to lie to you." She whispered and pulled her sleeve down. 

He slammed his fist onto the table, "I'm going to fucking kill him." He seethed. 

Hermione's eyes widened, "No-no, I know what it looks like but it isn't. He didn't mean to hurt me. Ron sometimes forgets I'm not one of the boys and can get a little rough. He let go immediately,i just bruise easily, he isn't purposely trying to hurt me, I promise."

Hermione gasped as she saw his pupils dilate but Draco took a deep breath, "That's not an excuse. I see where you're coming from but it still doesn't make it okay."

He cradled her wrist as if he was holding the last diamond on earth, "If he ever touches you like that, I'll make sure that's the last thing he'll ever do."

Hermione swallowed nervously, "I'm not helpless you know." She said softly. 

He chuckled, the darkness in his eyes decreasing, "Oh I know that, trust me I know," He said softly, "Which is why you're not going to let him get away with this anymore. Whether or not it was intentional, he needs to know that it isn't alright. And you know who's going to let him be known of that fact?" Hd asked. 

"Me?" She asked quietly and he nodded almost proudly at her.

"That's right." He said softly, "You don't need me or anyone else to protect you, but that doesn't mean I won't. But I know my- I mean the Gryffindor Princess that I know won't let anyone treat her like that, right?" He said trying to sound confident, after his slip up. 

Thankfully she didn't catch on. 

She nodded wordlessly, a small part of her actually believed him. She wouldn't have a problem standing up to anyone else, so why couldn't she do it with her friends. He was right. She had a hard time believing it but she knew deep inside that he was right.

"But Granger," He said into her ear, which caused shivers down her spine, "If he ever and I mean ever touches you like that again, I won't hesitate to finish him off for you, even though I'm aware that you're more than capable of handling yourself, okay?"

She swallowed nervously and nodded besides herself. He saw her hesitancy and said, "Remember that night in the library when I told you how much better you are than any pureblood supremacist." 

She nodded, whatever happened to pretending that night 'never happened' ? 

"Granger, I really don't think you understood everything I said that night, or rather you don't believe it."

She twisted her fingers and stared at the ground. "You are everything good in this world." He whispered, "And you deserve to know that."

She stared at him. Every day he surprised her more and more. She'd never met someone like him, someone so unexpectedly good, and this someone didn't even know it. 

Ignoring all that her brain was telling her, she wrapped her arms around his waist. Draco froze for a moment, she was hugging him, Hermione fucking Granger had her arms around him, and her head was tucked under his chin. 

He shook himself out of his thoughts and pulled her closer. She felt so delicate in his arms. He let out a deep breath, he felt so at peace.....he felt at home. 

And just for a moment, the two forgot everybody else and everything that was going on in their life. 

And just for a moment it was just the two of them in their little world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! I missed you all. Just a reminder that I'll be updating once in two weeks until I get less busy hehe.  
> Leave a comment about your thoughts and Kudos if you enjoyed.  
> Take care, thank you guys for reading xx

**Author's Note:**

> Heyy guys!! This is my first chapter, kinda like a prologue. It's just a filler, it will definitely get better, I promise. If you've read my one shot (I totally recommend you do) then you know that I love Protective Draco Malfoy, and that's exactly what you're getting!! Leave a comment and Kudos and tell me how I can improve, I appreciate constructive criticism!!  
> xx


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